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Teen Poetry #2
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I felt it all erasing me......
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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I felt it all erasing me...... |
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The Jackal Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 426Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A |
all the pretty things are free feel the rise ..isolate me raise the expectations high drown that ghost and never question why make it feel incomplete give a reason present defeat judge the fallen become intense spread your everything but wear it all underneath.. simple pleasures never mine im the TYPE of empty person that wont survive the test of time.. |
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| © Copyright 2000 John Dixon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
that's quatliy poetry right there!! drown that ghost and never question why make it feel incomplete give a reason present defeat that part was my favorite, not really sure why it just jumped out at me, would you mind explaining that passage in more detail? i have ideas of what you mean but it's a very loaded stanza! very interesting poem indeed NEW POETRY FORUM NOW OPEN "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity." SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE. NEW POETRY FORUM ADDED Don't look... you might see. Don't listen... you might hear. Don't think... you might learn. Don't walk... you might stumble. Don't run... you might fall. Don't make a decision... you might be wrong. Don't live...you might die. THE PAGE OF PURE POETIC EXPRESSION!! |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
I was scrolling down the list and I saw your poem only had one response, so I thought I'd reply to rescue it and give it a second chance. Well, I've just finished reading it and I thought it was absolutely beautiful! Your choice of words and the flow of them add real meaning and depth to your piece. you've given me a lot to think about anyway. Keep up the good work.  |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
jackal: as always, magnificent work i like the title an awful lot... very intriguing line... are you certain you couldn't incorporate it into the poem somehow?... i also really like the last line... spiffy sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Wow... the flow with this was GREAT! I think this is the best one you have posted yet. Keep up the good work. "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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Ender Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 200Yuma, AZ USA |
This is a very well put poem---i love it---it has a nice "depressing" feel to it----keep up to good work.. -Ender |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Wow....wonderful job. That's great poetry! I guess I felt everything you were saying through those words. Amazing! Salma |
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