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Teen Poetry #2
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rich-pa
Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317
New Orleans, Louisiana

0 posted 2000-02-08 10:26 PM


And each day
passes by
in a melancholy haze,
not knowing where we're going,
or even where we've been,
searching for a lost Nirvana
in the doldroms of our souls
and our life.
and with each day that passes
what can we do but hope,
or dream?

what is this maya?
what is this haze?

a motel for our souls
before the greater journey ensues
--one that has to end with happiness
-because-well,
what else is left?

© Copyright 2000 rich cooper - All Rights Reserved
Majestic
Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 264
houston, tx.
1 posted 2000-02-08 10:33 PM


this is sad...beautifully written though...

But i see you speak of hope eh?...tis a good beginning for a better ending...

 "To live is to love; To truly LOVE is to live!" ~kg~



White Wolf
Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 371
Somewhere in the vast wasteland
2 posted 2000-02-09 03:42 AM


I see the truth in what you wrote.  It makes since to me.  I like it.  Good job and keep writing.

 If dying is the process of living life to its end.
Then what is living?



poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
3 posted 2000-02-09 05:42 PM


rich-pa: yet another magnificent final, clenching line... where do you get these? *grumbles* you'll have to show me some day... or is it just that you get tired of writing and want to go to bed or something? *heh*... either way... good job  

sincerely,
jerome the mysterious priest

 A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
~Coleridge



Nights
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 56

4 posted 2000-02-09 07:15 PM


Great poem.  i can really relate to it.  Hope to read more from you...    


"It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE




[This message has been edited by Nights (edited 02-09-2000).]

LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
5 posted 2000-02-09 09:04 PM


I really loved your poem. It was so.........
poetic. (sorry...lack of better word  ) What I like best is your title. I think it's pretty cool. Hope to see more from you soon.

rich-pa
Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317
New Orleans, Louisiana
6 posted 2000-02-09 10:30 PM


actually jerome, i end 'em like that 'cause my hand starts to hurt...well, not really, i don't know how i do it, but i'm glad ya dig it yo.
rich-pa

Jer
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
USA
7 posted 2000-02-09 10:54 PM


Rich-pa this was great.  I really like the phrase "melancholy haze".  It has such great imagery. Good job.


 "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler

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