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Teen Poetry #2
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Untitled (my brain isn't working enough for a title today)
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Untitled (my brain isn't working enough for a title today) |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
A little girl sat, In a park alone. She had no family or even friends, To call her very own. Darkness was the friend, And Light was the enemy. Too much could people do, Too much could they look and see. They saw the scars upon her face, Then quickly turned away, Too embarrassed to even look, And not a word to say. Each day rolled by, No quicker than the last. These days were filled with nothing, But horrors of the past. Her life on the streets wasn't easy, In fact it was quite sad. To see someone as young as her, Without a mum or dad. She wanted more than anything, But to be like everyone else. To sleep in a warm bed, Inside a cosy house. So if you see this girl, Out in the street, don't moan. Lend her a helping hand, And don't let her be alone. [This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 02-08-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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White Wolf Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 371Somewhere in the vast wasteland |
Hold on a sec. Need to dry my eyes. I love the poem. I think it is very well written. As for the title well I am alittle stumped. I had the thought of maybe "That Little Girl". But I don't know. All I know is that I got lost in the emotion. Again I loved it. PS Just thought I would take a suggestion and visit here for a while. I am alittle too old to post in here but I can still read and respond. Poet: An individual that can transfer what is in the heart onto paper. |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
anonymous: this is a very touching poem... i'd really like to see a companion poem (a sequel, so to speak) about the value of human compassion and how it might effect this poor girl... i can't help but wonder, is this written from experiences? or is it a fictional person in a very real situation?... about the poem itself... i found the phrase "Too much could" in lines 7 & 8 distracting... they didnt seem to flow well... i think it could work with just changing the second one to something else, but *heh*.. i dunno.. just a personal thought... very good work  sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
This is a well written poem. There are so many young people homeless and victumized, but few seem to care. Your poem should be published on the front page of every newspaper. Nice work! Danny |
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Majestic Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 264houston, tx. |
what a wonderful message you 've written...excellent... Now that that's out of the way....dang, that was sad...(hard to swallow past the lump in my throat)... "To live is to love; To truly LOVE is to live!" ~kg~ |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Very touching poem, anon. It makes my heart ache for the little girl. Well done! I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion |
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