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Teen Poetry #2
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The Jackal
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 426
Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A

0 posted 2000-02-06 11:31 PM


and gradually sleep is the overdose
the need of the buried...almost
where you die not once but twice
the pleasure of existence was never
this fanatical about life..
as a deer knows fear
in the grasp of headlights
so shall you..broken embers
your a fallen star
you speak with clarity
but you'll never get quite that far..


© Copyright 2000 John Dixon - All Rights Reserved
poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
1 posted 2000-02-07 12:47 PM


jackal: this is certainly intriguing... i really like the "ember" metaphor (even if i dont quite grasp its intended meaning)... well-written and perhaps deeper than my simple mind can fathom...

sincerely,
jerome the boy with no brain

 A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
~Coleridge



kari
Member
since 1999-10-03
Posts 104
Hyde Park, Ut, USA
2 posted 2000-02-07 12:56 PM


Your words struck me.  I have truly felt those feelings and thought those thoughts.  Very good language.  Nicely done!
Star Fairy 2
Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa
3 posted 2000-02-07 09:11 PM


beautiful!!!!!

 Regret for things you did maybe tempered by time, regret for things you Didn't do, however, is inconsolable...
-------823-------



Jer
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
USA
4 posted 2000-02-07 11:30 PM


Interesting. What intrigued you to write this one?

 "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler

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