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Teen Poetry #2
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the first real poem i ever wrote,was writen tongiht,i present to you"my dearest wish"
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Teen Poetry #2
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the first real poem i ever wrote,was writen tongiht,i present to you"my dearest wish"
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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the first real poem i ever wrote,was writen tongiht,i present to you"my dearest wish" |
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The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny 
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it makes me sad to know im always messing up But with you on my mind i have no ability to think. My mind was always covered.... in darkness and trampled.... in pain, but since the day i met u... its been draped in roses, and left to tame you've made me who i swore i would never be an obsessed illusion in your eyes but a romantic to me my writing is my way of bleeching my mind of all the loving tormeant you are feeding me. you have never done anyhting to lead me on, but that smile says it all as it take over ur face and the mind of the people you pass I wish i could tell you i love you but what i feel is not love, i feel a journey with no end. a painting with half a signature a life lived to its end waiting for a wish to be granted all i can say to you,is thank you my dearest wish melissa Mike Sacks Feb 6 2000 I wish i were a poet |
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| © Copyright 2000 The Mike Sacks - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Good job on your first "real" poem!  I can really relate! Keep up the good work! "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
I loved this poem. It was great, I mean...it is great. Keep up the good work |
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The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny |
thank you both very much One day I will be famous and all the people who were ever my friends will have me by there side when ever they need me to be there. And all the people who are there talking behind my back an saying stuff bout me,and they will never see me again,and to all again this is wat i have to say "Yeah, now I'm big and important One angry dwarf and 200 solemn faces are you If you really want to see me check the papers and the TV Look who's telling who what to do Kiss my *** goodbye" |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
none of the guys around here care to show to much emotion, either in poetry, or otherwise, its nice to know that they can be just as emotional as us girls  Mike: if youd like, you can contact me on ICQ *how was i to kno that today id meet someone like you? how was i to see the light with him in my path and you too far to touch?* |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
mike: first, i'm interested in knowing what you mean by your "first real poem"? is this the first poem you wrote yourself? what's the deal... secondly, please (please) be consistent with spelling out "you" and "your"... just a personal pet peeve *heh*  finally, i think the poem is fairly good... i like the line near the end "a painting with half a signature" best... a very interesting metaphor... tamma: it's not that we do not show emotion, and much less that we do not express it in our writing, but rather that emotion is often more personal to us... i, for one, feign to post any of my "love" poems online due to their revealing and vulnerable nature... my social poems i can take all the criticism you can dish out... but when it comes to love, i prefer to feel secure within myself and to keep my feelings between my lover and myself... perhaps that will help you to understand men a little better... (i, of course, tend to be an exception *heh*)...  sincerely, jerome the boy who's inordinately happy today A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny |
i never spoke from my heart inall my other peoms like i did in this 1 One day I will be famous and all the people who were ever my friends will have me by there side when ever they need me to be there. And all the people who are there talking behind my back an saying stuff bout me,and they will never see me again,and to all again this is wat i have to say "Yeah, now I'm big and important One angry dwarf and 200 solemn faces are you If you really want to see me check the papers and the TV Look who's telling who what to do Kiss my *** goodbye" |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
mike: i see... so this is your first heartfelt poem congratulations... i'll be looking for more that i'm sure will come...sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Teen Poetry #2
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the first real poem i ever wrote,was writen tongiht,i present to you"my dearest wish"
