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Teen Poetry #2
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Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2000-02-01 09:21 PM


The window leaned against the moon
To me, today has made no sense
The clocks were running on their hands
They brought black holes into my room
Tomorrow I will be all right
Tomorrow may not come so soon
The bright illusion of the moon
Will slowly fade into the night
For all the worst and for the better
I’ll find you beneath my skin
You will eternally glow within
This way we’ll always be together
And I shall write another verse
Before this night comes to an end
If I could only hold your hand
We’d put the clocks into reverse
The pale moon would shrink in size
The sun would once again appear
I would wake up and you’d be near
The night would melt inside our eyes


© Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
hoppy
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271

1 posted 2000-02-01 09:25 PM


very nice indeed!!  very vivid imagery, i could almost see it happening.  Mark of a truely good writter!

 "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity."

SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE.
http://members.xoom.com/weeklyhoppy


poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
2 posted 2000-02-01 09:52 PM


master: this is absolutely beautiful... the surrealistic imagery is superb and the clincher lines at the end are wonderful... i really like the first and title lines a lot...

sincerely,
jerome the boy with no brain

 A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
~Coleridge

Astraea
Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now
3 posted 2000-02-01 10:09 PM


What can I say that hasn't already been said or that you don't already know?  Wonderfully lovely poem.  The lines are absolutely beautiful, not to mention touching something inside.  Superb writing.

~Astraea

 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."



Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
4 posted 2000-02-02 06:46 AM


Thank you all for your kind replies. I know that a poem is good when people say that it "touched" them. Thank you
sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
5 posted 2000-02-02 09:34 AM


Well master, you can say it again...this piece totally left me speechless! I loved it!  

 "Superiority to fate is difficult to learn. 'Tis not conferred by any, but possible to earn"--Emily Dickinson-"Superiority of Fate"

Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
6 posted 2000-02-02 08:26 PM


Speechless means that I succeeded, Thanks!
Jer
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
USA
7 posted 2000-02-03 06:31 PM


Great job Master.  You truly live up to your name!
Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
8 posted 2000-02-03 07:37 PM


As many times as I've heard that one, I still feel honored! Thank you!
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