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Teen Poetry #2
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~~Revenge~~
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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~~Revenge~~ |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV 
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Revenge is coming you won't know when you wont know how just remember, its coming Revenge is always sweet except when your on the recieving end you will never be forgiven for what you did don't get in my way, watch your back stand on guard I'm coming I'm on my way stay the hell outta my way Don't sleep don't close your eyes gotta knife in my head im dead, now leave me alone to everyone that commented: i am sorry for what this originally said, now that i see your reactions, i probably should have posted "alone in the world", instead. And, to the moderators, this is the best i could do, with 2 hours sleep last night.  [This message has been edited by Tamma (edited 01-31-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Tamma M. Wilson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Gee, uhm, thats, a lovely, uhm, sentiment ya got there. heh. Ill be sure and not get on your bad side. BTW, isnt this poem just a little against the forum guidlines, glorifying violence and all? I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
this is more about mental revenge, rather than murder, because i, myself could never hurt anyone *how was i to kno that today id meet someone like you? how was i to see the light with him in my path and you too far to touch?* |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
tamma: i have to agree with Mistikman's thoughts(?) on this poem... i dont see "mental revenge" in it anywhere really... perhaps you should amend the words "gun" and "knife" or even change the lines to say "got a gun in my head" and "got a knife on my words"... that might lend your poem more of the meaning you claim to have intended for it... plus, i dont care much for the profanity either (but that's a personal issue) sincerely, jerome the boy with the blue thumb A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
wanna know the truth? well here goes: i wrote this a few days after i was raped, i was raped by someone i thought i could trust, and now he stares at me whenever he walks by, knowing its killing me, so, i wrote this, giving him jut as much mental anguise as im going thru *how was i to kno that today id meet someone like you? how was i to see the light with him in my path and you too far to touch?* |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
Hey now, I don't understand how this reflects "mental revenge" either. It seems more like you wanna kill someone, and that makes me feel kinda wierd. care to elaborate? |
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destiny502 Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 57OH |
well Tamma, i may not be much help, but if you ever wanna talk..drop me a line on icq im always online.  |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
tamma: i can understand your feelings of rage and hurt and i'm deeply sorry that such a horrible thing has happened to you... i have to stand by my statement that this poem reflects physical threats, not mental... it does however, portray the anger and horror that i'm certain you've experienced... sincerely, jerome the boy with the blue thumb A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Well Being the voice of authority on this forum I have to say it does seen to glorify violence to me. I would appreciate it being edited. I understand you have suffered a great deal and the reason for writing this piece but it is inappropriate to post it here. The guidelines are very clear about this issue. I am going to contact the author and we will resolve this together. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
As co-moderator, I agree with Marilyn. Let's indeed get this resolved. *Krista Knutson* ~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack, Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare, Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water, Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I appreciate you editing this piece. It is better this way. Now to comment. Revenge is never sweet. The thoughts that run through your head and the plotting do nothing but eat at your soul. The anger and bitterness we carry with us is what kills us in the end. I know life is not fair and the ones who do these things to us seem to get away with it. There is always another way to handle the situation. Taking revenge will not accomplish anything but get you in trouble. The fact that this person still has this effect on you means he still has the power. You need to take that power back. Seek help if you can not accomplish this alone. Until you free yourself od this bitterness and ill feelings this event will control you. Make something out of your life and prove that your are worth more then what this person thinks and treated you as. If you need to talk or need someone to help you, I am always available. |
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Maitay Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 158Sisters,OR,USA |
I can totally see the way that Tamma is thinking, I know to an extint what she is going through. No I was not technically raped but that does not change the fact that soemone I thought I cared about took advasntage of me. and now they also treat me like crap. Almost as if they love to stare me down and make me feel lower then scum. I know that many of you think that what she is saying is violent, but she also needs to realease EXACTLY what is going through her head, otherwise she might just take to doing violent behavior. Good job Tamma!!!! |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
I believe that you all a bit mistaken bout the violent aspects of this poem. It does show true anger but it's not about that. The mention of a knife (heaven forbid anyone mention a weapon) is metaphoric to her being killed by his actions toward her. In the whole of them poem there is no aspect of accual revenge or violence because he has already killed her emotionally. The poem is simply telling everything to go away and leave her alone, I believe this is a quality poem, nicely done "Which is the dream?" SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE. http://members.xoom.com/weeklyhoppy |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
First i wanna say that it was terrible what happened to you and i'm sorry. Second i wanna say that i too know how it feels to be betrayed by someone you trust. Thirdly i agree with hoppy you guys are just reading the words and not even looking for the mental picture...all that she wrote about the knife and all just desribes how she feels and how much she wants everything to go away. Great poem Tamma |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
hoppy & chic: i feel very deeply for tamma's hurt and normally i would be inclined to agree with you that it is emotional pain, but the poem itself did not reflect such, it was tamma's explaination later on that did so... in light of this, i think the best thing was done to have her amend it... i think the poem is just as effective in it's form now as it was then... and dare i say, clearer in meaning?... sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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