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Teen Poetry #2
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Done asking why....
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Done asking why.... |
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The Jackal Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 426Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A |
are you done asking why theres so much to know but we have quite a ways to go if you lead me to the morning after can that prevent more disaster for the see through soul the place i save..where nothing will ever grow |
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| © Copyright 2000 John Dixon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Smore Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 67el paso |
I'm not sure I understand, regardless though it's a well written poem. Love isn't a miracle in life, the miracle of life is love. |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
jackal: this poem is very good (like most of your work that i've read)... i only have a few very minor suggestions: 1. you might want to hyphenate "see-through" in the poem (it was hard to read accurately without the hyphen) and you might consider making the last phrase "where nothing will ever grow" the last line... that would be more in keeping with the verse form of the poem... i like this poem a lot (especially the part about the see-through soul) and i hope to read more of your work on the forum soon... sincerely, jerome the boy with the blue thumb A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Crystalina123 Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228 |
While I don't have anything very intelligent such as a rhyming scheme to comment on, I must say that I really love this poem. It strikes a deep chord within my heart. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Exellent work, I also enjoyed "see-through soul". Keep it up!  *Krista Knutson* One lives in the hope of becoming a memory. ~*Antonio Porchia*~ |
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