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Teen Poetry #2
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Everlasting Existence
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Everlasting Existence |
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S3NSATION18 Junior Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 31 |
i met someone some time ago how was i supposed to know that he would be the one for me he was the one who had the key the key to my soul and the key to my heart he was the one right from the start a new life a new begining... full of adventures never ending i wish the days to never end for he is my lover and my best-friend all my happiness i owe it to him he gave me love, he brought me in into a new and wonderful place more precious than heaven more precious than grace i call him my angel sent from above to him i vow to give my love he means a lot to me it's hard to believe a stranger could possibly hold the key he opened my heart and set me free my life and my soul belongs to him for we have exchanged vows to love and cherish what we have will never perish for i will devote myself to our EVER LASTING EXISTENCE |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kristina Gomez - All Rights Reserved | |||
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
sensation: i really like the first part of the poem, but the latter parts get confusing with the widely-variated line lengths (20 syllables in one line and 2 in another)... the words are wonderful and the idea is solid, but you might work on evening up some of the lines... just a suggestion, of course... sincerely, jerome the boy with no soul A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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