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eve_angel
Junior Member

since 2000-01-22

Posts 23
Australia

0 posted 2000-01-22 01:59 AM

i went away and left you there
behind where i used to be
now i'm far away from you
it's not my choice you see
i had to leave i had to go
for a reason i can't say why
i'm sorry it had to be this way
please don't start to cry
i'm telling you i miss you heaps
but it's only been a while
i want you here to see your face
and to see your cheeky smile
i'll always remember the times we had
and the things we used to do
i'll always remember you in me heart
and i hope that you do too.

abra-cadabra
Member

since 1999-06-21

Posts 75
Florissant, Missouri, USA

1 posted 2000-01-22 04:37 AM

This is very pretty. Very well written. Keep it up!

poetry_kills
Senior Member

since 1999-12-04

Posts 549
new orleans

2 posted 2000-01-22 05:07 AM

eve angel: lovely poem, especially for your first post... i identify with the sentiment of this poem well... it's always hard to leave someone we care about behind... as far as the actual poem goes i would like to see a little more description than the indescript statement "i miss you heaps"... perhaps something like "i miss you passionately" or "i long for you always"... just a suggestion

sincerely,
jerome the boy with no brain

A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
~Coleridge

Oo0ostephanio0oO
Member

since 2000-01-19

Posts 194
Massachusetts ~USA~

3 posted 2000-01-22 11:38 AM

This is a very well-written poem. It would be cool to see more added into it, too.

(:***Stephani***:)
"A true friend will always stay a friend
whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end."

Star Fairy 2
Member

since 1999-09-06

Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa

4 posted 2000-01-22 05:09 PM

very beautiful

Regret for things you did maybe tempered by time, regret for things you Didn't do, however, is inconsolable...
-------823-------

Jer
Member

since 1999-12-02

Posts 443
USA

5 posted 2000-01-22 06:49 PM

Great job!

eve_angel
Junior Member

since 2000-01-22

Posts 23
Australia

6 posted 2000-01-22 07:32 PM

thank you for your replies. your suggestions will help me a lot and i will try to put more in. thanx again

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