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Teen Poetry #2
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sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be

0 posted 2000-01-19 11:42 AM


I wish you could be there
to see her way through school
to see her take her first steps
to hear her utter her first words

I wish you could be there
to see that special smile
to hear her baby laugh
and look into her baby eyes

I wish you could be there
to see her go to prom
to see her get married
to walk her down the aisle

I wish you could be there
to help me with her questions
to help her with her problems
to give her a shoulder to cry on

I wish you could be there
to hear her say "I Love you, dad".
to hear her say "Thanks"
to hear unspoken gratitude...
but you're not.

It's been a year
she's walking now
talking baby talk
you've been gone,
yet I see you everyday
as she gets older...

i know..i know....the ending is weak..at least I think so...how anout ya'll??


© Copyright 2000 Lavada Miller - All Rights Reserved
Kitty
Junior Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 20
Paris, Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2000-01-19 11:46 AM


I can relate to this poem so much. But I'm not in the mothers place but in the childs. Your poem is very moving, it touched me,and I don't think the ending is weak at all.

 

Singer1981
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA
2 posted 2000-01-19 12:12 PM


I really can't relate to this in personal experience...but just reading it made me feel the emotions that you must have been feeling.  It brought a tear to my eye...once again, beautifully written.
~Sarah

angel6917
Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
WI
3 posted 2000-01-19 12:13 PM


The ending is not weak, it actually sounds pretty good.  It was a very heartfelt poem, and I hope to see more of your poetry soon.

Angel6917


 "Sometimes people care too much. I think it's called love." -Winnie the Pooh

Oo0ostephanio0oO
Member
since 2000-01-19
Posts 194
Massachusetts ~USA~
4 posted 2000-01-19 02:31 PM


The ENDING is so NOt weak at all!. I can relate to this so much. I'm not the mother, I am the child. My father died 9-27-98. I am STILL coping with it. It was SO hard becasue he was't there to see my prom, so see me graduate from high school or when I graduate from college, and he WON"T be there to walk me down the isle. I wonder about that everyday. I wonder what I am going to do, and who I am going to pick. It'll either be my mother, brother or my uncle (He's also my god-father, and was my father's brother). Here's some good advice: make sure she has a good strong male figure in her life, maybe her godfather, or if you have a brother. It will make it easier for her. OR she may even pick you to walk her down the isle, there's no law against that. Keep writing it'll help you. Advice from others has always worked for me.


 (:***Stephani***:)
"A true friend will always stay a friend
whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end."


sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
5 posted 2000-01-19 03:10 PM


Thanks to all the replies! I didn't think I'd get that many! Wow! Thanks for all the support...it means alot  
Dean
Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120
Canada
6 posted 2000-01-19 11:19 PM


I love you stuff What can I say!!
I always can feel it!! Thanx for your poetry!!

Love Deano XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX


 "Live to love or why live at all"
Deano :)


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