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Teen Poetry #2
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Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA

0 posted 2000-01-17 10:41 PM


She invades my thoughts always, tearing me in two
Thoughts of what could have been, what could I do?
Treating her with kindness and respect, wasn't I much the fool?
Showing only the side I wanted her to see, my emotions were a tool
I need to forget her
But I long to remember

I could have cared for her forever
She wanted me to love her never
She wanted us to just be friends
Oh when will this charade end?
I need to forget her
But I long to remember

I talk with her every day, acting very nice
She responds in like, holding my heart in a vice
This would be so much easier if she was cruel
But she is not, so my heart and brain are locked in a duel
I need to forget her
But I long to remember


© Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved
Jer
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
USA
1 posted 2000-01-17 11:04 PM


Travis, this was awesome.  Man, I do not even have words to describe how I feel about this poem.  I am still in the astonishment stage.  All I can say is, outstanding work.
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
2 posted 2000-01-17 11:08 PM


Thanks, as the main supporter of my poetry(you respond more than anyone else, heh) your words mean more than most. I really like how this poem turned out myself. Isnt it wonderful how poetry can take unimaginable pain and turn it into unimaginable beauty?  

 I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion

angel6917
Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
WI
3 posted 2000-01-18 10:28 AM


I loved your poem.  It seems so heartfelt, and it's something I admire.  Keep up the good work...
Jer
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
USA
4 posted 2000-01-18 10:50 AM


Yeah I know.  You can take feelings and multiply them or even take the worst pain and have it somewhat comfort yourself.  It's amazing what words on paper can do to ones mentality.
Kitty
Junior Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 20
Paris, Ontario, Canada
5 posted 2000-01-19 11:22 AM


Oh my gosh, that was awsome. You have a real talent. Your poem made my heart ache. Can't wait to hear more.
Oo0ostephanio0oO
Member
since 2000-01-19
Posts 194
Massachusetts ~USA~
6 posted 2000-01-19 02:41 PM


That was great. Keep up the good work.
Someone's emotions can come across so well in words sometimes.  

 (:***Stephani***:)
"A true friend will always stay a friend
whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end."


Nights
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 56

7 posted 2000-01-19 06:11 PM


I liked this poem.  I especially loved the first two lines of the second stanza.  I know alot of people who could relate to the meaning of this,including myself.

 "It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE

Tamma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV
8 posted 2000-01-19 09:22 PM


first of all, i love it   i believe that if you can make one person know the way you felt with a poem, youre doing great, and with this poem, your doing perfect  
~~~Tamma~~~

Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
9 posted 2000-01-19 10:38 PM


Thanks everyone for the positive feedback.
Nights: Personally, my favorite lines are the third and fourth in the first stanza. I was trying to convey how I did not act myself in front of her, but someone entirely different who I thought she would like.

As for my next work, I seem to have hit a writers block. I cant seem to think of anything to write about. Maybe something will come to me tomorrow... well see

 I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion

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