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Teen Poetry #2
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nicnac8
Junior Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 46
New York, N.Y. USA

0 posted 2000-01-13 09:10 PM


I'd put a dollar on it,
and maybe even more
that ur only intentions were 2 score.
And if i had agreed and had not taken heed,
by tomorrow i'd be labeled a whore.

I'd put a dollar on it,
and maybe even 2
that the women you've been with
are more than just a few.
And if i'd played the fool
i'd b somewhere lost, and in love with u.

I'd put a $ on it,
and maybe even 3
that your intentions were only 2 deceive.
And that after yo love me ,
you'll leave.

I'd put a $ on it,
and maybe even 5
that u hav intentionally lied.
And when placed by your friends,
the love u claim, would only be denied.

I'd put a $ on it,
and maybe even6
that these are all tricks
and sooner than later i will be dismissed.

I'd put a $ on it,
and maybe even 8
that all of the things that made me think
u were great would all be reversed and turned
into hate.
And although I sometimes deny it...
you were my favorite mistake.

I'd put a dollar on it
and maybe even 10
that even though you've hurt me,
if u wanted me
i'd happily return again.


© Copyright 2000 nicnac8 - All Rights Reserved
Singer1981
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA
1 posted 2000-01-14 06:29 PM


I really liked this.  It's hard when you love someone so much no matter how much they hurt you, you go on loving them.  This definitely said that very nicely.  One suggestion...the abbreviations for "u" and the numbers were a little distracting.  You could say it just as well by writing out the numbers.  Either way...great job!!  
nicnac8
Junior Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 46
New York, N.Y. USA
2 posted 2000-01-15 12:36 PM


thankyou for the reply. i'm glad u liked it.and thanx for the suggestion.

-nicnac8

Duchessofhearts
Junior Member
since 2000-01-15
Posts 13

3 posted 2000-01-15 03:51 PM


i loved your poem.
i can relate, i just got out of a relationship like that.were still friends but its not the same

nicnac8
Junior Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 46
New York, N.Y. USA
4 posted 2000-01-16 01:26 AM


thanx 4 reading my poem and thanx 4 the reply. I hope u fully get over ur break-up.And i hope to read some of ur poetry soon.

"it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."

~nicnac8

Star Fairy 2
Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa
5 posted 2000-01-16 06:05 PM


this was very ingenious... the number scheme.. i loved it... fantastic!

 Don't Fall.. Rise in Love
-------823-------


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