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Passions in Poetry

Untitled (Need Sugg.)

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Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


0 posted 01-12-2000 04:42 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Allysa

I looked into your eyes,
to deep into your feelings.
I looked for answers,
and found them all.
All the lies,
all the jokes,
all the knots,
you may have tied.
I looked into your eyes,
and for once,
I saw the truth,
in all my questions.
why you came,
why you left,
what you saw,
what you drempt.
I looked into your eyes,
beyond the surfce of steel,
beyond the ice breaking shadows,
beyond the intrapping fences.
And I saw everything.
And now I understand,
all the lies,
you repremand,
to save my soul,
from your true self.


 Loves may seem forgotten, but the true will once shine through.
© Copyright 2000 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Jer
Member
since 12-02-1999
Posts 455
USA


1 posted 01-12-2000 05:37 PM       View Profile for Jer   Email Jer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jer

Great poem.  As for the title....  Why not call it, "Answers behind the Eyes".  Just a suggestion though.  Other then that.... It is a good poem based on reality of one's feelings for another.
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


2 posted 01-12-2000 07:23 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

I enjoyed this and it is very true. As for a title suggestion...How about "The Windows".
Olga
Member
since 07-26-99
Posts 152
Brooklyn, NY, USA


3 posted 01-12-2000 09:57 PM       View Profile for Olga   Email Olga   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Olga

I really liked this  one. Truth usually hurts, yet it sets us all free. Keep it up
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


4 posted 01-13-2000 08:05 AM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

I'm glad you guys like my poem. I'll take both of those title suggestions into thought.


 Loves may seem forgotten, but the true will once shine through.
poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 12-04-1999
Posts 552
new orleans


5 posted 01-13-2000 11:38 AM       View Profile for poetry_kills   Email poetry_kills   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit poetry_kills's Home Page   View IP for poetry_kills

i like this poem... it's a common sentiment with an extended and in-depth look    the only thing i dont understand is the word "drempt"... i've never run across it before... perhaps you meant dreamt (as in to have already dreamed)?... overall a good poem   keep it up and i hope you find a good title... i feign to title someone else's work...

sincerely,
**jerome the boy with no brain
PoeticDreams
Junior Member
since 12-23-1999
Posts 35
Lindsay,Oklahoma US


6 posted 01-15-2000 12:23 AM       View Profile for PoeticDreams   Email PoeticDreams   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit PoeticDreams's Home Page   View IP for PoeticDreams

How about "I looked into your eyes" hmmm.  Pretty original considering you stated it all the way through your poem.LOL.  Great poem though.  Keep up the good work.

 ~¤Always look to the
sunrise and you'll never
see the shadows¤~Anee
Frank
Duchessofhearts
Junior Member
since 01-15-2000
Posts 13


7 posted 01-15-2000 03:59 PM       View Profile for Duchessofhearts   Email Duchessofhearts   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Duchessofhearts

your poem is one of the best i read so far. i know when i dont have a title i take a line i like most from the poem and put it as the title.
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


8 posted 01-18-2000 08:36 AM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

Thanks for all the suggestions. I'm taking all of them into consideration. I'm still not sure though. And thanks for replying to my poem, you guys make me feel special.

 Loves may seem forgotten, but the true will once shine through.
Oo0ostephanio0oO
Member
since 01-19-2000
Posts 199
Massachusetts ~USA~


9 posted 01-19-2000 06:54 PM       View Profile for Oo0ostephanio0oO   Email Oo0ostephanio0oO   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Oo0ostephanio0oO's Home Page   View IP for Oo0ostephanio0oO

Sometimes the truth about someone hurts
Especially those who we care about
Stuff like this happens so often to some
Especially the good ones
:>


 (:***Stephani***:)
"A true friend will always stay a friend
whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end."

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


10 posted 11-08-2000 04:17 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

thanks ya all. just addin this to my library

Morning rain fell on my window, and I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be gray, put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


11 posted 11-15-2007 07:43 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND
 
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