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Teen Poetry #2
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eagle
Junior Member
since 1999-10-20
Posts 39
singapore

0 posted 2000-01-08 09:18 AM


Only in places
where bad things have happened,
sometimes a kind of strange force lingers on
like lonely pools of water after a storm;
And now and then
some of us fall into those pools.

Then we remember
the last time we touched
and felt the warm tears stream down our cheeks.
The echo's of that last good bye
as two people parted amidst a crowd
drifting on in different directions
like fallen leaves in autumn.

And it seems
everytime I pass by that place,
the traces of cotton in the velvet sky
cascade towards the horizon
like a red carpet leading on,
only white with spots of blue.

And something happens
that opens the floodgates of the heart,
and the churn of emotions,
releases well kept tears
which fall to the concrete ground
and rises into the air
to form another cloud ,
that leads further into the horizon.


[This message has been edited by eagle (edited 01-08-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 eagle - All Rights Reserved
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2000-01-08 03:37 PM


Wow...Wonderful work. Your word transported me to a place I have not visited in a long time. This touched me deeply. the only suggestion I have is the presentation. I think this would work well in a centered presentation, if you ever publish it, have it written in a handwritten script.

Bravo!!

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

2 posted 2000-01-08 05:59 PM


Hey! That was really great! You really have talent! Good work!

~LoveBug

eagle
Junior Member
since 1999-10-20
Posts 39
singapore
3 posted 2000-01-08 06:56 PM


Many Thanks!  
Will consider your suggestions.  

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
4 posted 2000-01-08 10:00 PM


Very deep and very beautiful.  I am truly impressed, to keep it up!  

 *Krista Knutson*

~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack,
Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare,
Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water,
Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha



Dean
Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120
Canada
5 posted 2000-01-08 10:08 PM


This soooooooooo ****ing dope!! I could real feel this poem!! Keep on doing what you doing!!

Deano

 "Live to love or why live at all"
Deano :)


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