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Kari16
New Member

since 1999-12-30

Posts 7
nebraska

0 posted 1999-12-30 12:14 PM

Kari Schmit

She looks and she waits for the time to near,
it is tempting and vamp and scary too.
Alone and waiting, she shows a little fear.

Trying to find what is very dear,
searching and searching to find what it true,
She looks and she waits for time to near.

Looking from afar, she sheds a little tear,
if emotions were colors, she’d be blue.
Alone and waiting, she shows a little fear.

Hoping and hoping, she does not want to hear,
what brings her sadness and madness too.
She looks and she waits for the time to near.

Lying there afraid of what is soon to near,
she looks and finds that it is not so true.
Alone and waiting, she shows a little fear.

She looks and she finds, but it’s not clear,
but still, with loneliness, she has no clue.
She looks and she waits for the time to near,
Alone and waiting, she shows a little fear.

Marilyn
Member Elite

since 1999-09-26

Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

1 posted 1999-12-31 12:04 PM

Welcome to Passions. This is an interesting piece. I have a couple of questions. She is waiting for what time to near? What is it that she is afraid of? Since these questions were not answered the theme seems incomplete. Just MHO.

Welcome again and I hope to see more of your work.

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

2 posted 1999-12-31 12:08 PM

aaa... villanele... one of my favorite forms of poetry, although I could never write a good one. Yours' is as beautiful as your picture! Can't wait to read more!

Jinx
New Member

since 1999-12-22

Posts 7
Wilkes-Barre PA

3 posted 1999-12-31 12:08 PM

I agree with marilyn, it just doesn't seem finished. Although what is there is good.

Astraea
Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now

4 posted 1999-12-31 12:10 PM

Very nice.

~Astraea

"Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."

Kari16
New Member

since 1999-12-30

Posts 7
nebraska

5 posted 1999-12-31 11:45 AM

Everyone thanx for the reply but the reason why it seems unfinished is because its supposed to make u want to think. Its about a girl not wanting to know what is goin to happen. she is alone and scared

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