navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #2 » Broken Heart
Teen Poetry #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic Broken Heart Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Singer1981
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA

0 posted 1999-12-23 12:37 PM


OK...I know this is a bit rough...but I just wrote it so..I dunno.

How could I have been so naive?
Once again, I'm the one who is hurt.
Tears in my eyes, I take a deep breath.
Why do I always get myself into this?
Always crying
Always hurting
Why do they have this power over me?
But this time it's different
My best friend
Ever minute that he is not by my side
A little part of me dies
"Someday" is our song
And that always gave me a sense of hope
A false sense apparently
And now I know, we are never meant to be
Someday became never
And with that realization
My heart broke.

© Copyright 1999 Sarah Goldstein - All Rights Reserved
starboards
Member
since 1999-10-14
Posts 467
longwood, florida
1 posted 1999-12-23 09:36 AM


singer...i liked it...not too rough because it showed your true emotions! keep it up, will ya??

 
"I wont look back, I wont regret, though it hurts like hell someday I will forget"

Fairy Colours
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 169
Sunrise,Fl,US
2 posted 1999-12-23 10:37 AM


I agree with Star. Good one.

 --A Little Fairy--

Laura
Junior Member
since 1999-11-26
Posts 26

3 posted 1999-12-23 03:28 PM


singer- this poem was so beautiful!  I especially like it because so many poeple can relate to the situation- i know i can!  keep up the good work!

 *~*Laura*~*
"Dream over me with a tear, anything it takes to wish me here. Magic and sweet lulabyes, any lucky penny will do fine to wish me here."
-Nikki Hassman "Any Lucky Penny"

Singer1981
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA
4 posted 1999-12-23 06:24 PM


Thanks so much for all of your comments guys!  I really appreciate it.  
Holden
Junior Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 26
Brighton East, Victoria, Australia
5 posted 1999-12-23 08:06 PM


I think your poem is well written, however, I do not really like the style.  This does not take anything away from your poem, though, because the style used fits the poem well.  You show great emotion in this poem and I hope you keep it up and keep sharing how you feel.  Well done.

 'I once picked a daisy's petals searching for an answer. I went through 10 daisy's before getting the answer I was looking for...I love you.'

peanogrl83
Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202

6 posted 1999-12-24 09:07 PM


Sars! Great poem! Keep writing, it helps the pain, huh? :> I can't wait to see you, hun...it'll be a blast. Love ya, hun!
                           Vreni

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #2 » Broken Heart

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary