My poem to the girl i love---tell me what u think

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Ender
Member

since 1999-12-08

Posts 200
Yuma, AZ USA

0 posted 1999-12-08 12:51 PM

*Do I Have a Chance?*
When I look into those glowing eyes of yours
My world seems to stop
As the omnipresent beauty from within appears
You glow like a light in the dark of night
As your splendor radiates from you
You would stop any man in his tracks
With that great beauty of yours
For it did stop me
When I first saw you
I thought to myself
“Do I have a chance”
A sense of doubt when through me
And I brushed the idea away
Knowing that since you are a junior
And me, a freshman
There is probably no chance at all
But, whenever I see you in the hall
Or in the class
I always feel like I have found the one
That I truly love

But the question is
Will you share the feeling
Or will we “Just be friends”
You should know by now that I love you
And that I always will
I have given you signs
Even a child would know
But if you didn’t
I tell you now
In order to get it off my chest
And into your heart

To where you can understand it all
And where you may actually start
Feeling the same way about me
As I do you
For I love you
And always will
Until the day we shall part
And never meet again
But until that day comes
Would you please
Share your love with me
So that I can feel like someone

JEBE
Junior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 32
WILMINGTON, NC, USA

1 posted 1999-12-08 05:57 PM

I LOVE THE LAST PARAGRAPH SPECIALLY THE LAST LINE SO I CAN FEEL LIKE SOMEONE....SO TRUE....

THREE SMILEY FACES

poetry_kills
Senior Member

since 1999-12-04

Posts 549
new orleans

2 posted 1999-12-08 06:32 PM

i like this one... i'd consider it the best of the 4 you posted thus far... if you're looking to impress, you might want to smooth out some of the rough edges before you hand it to her (if you are interested, post it on the Critical Analysis forum with a note saying you'd like it to sound smoother), but aside from that it's spiffy

sincerely,
**jerome the boy with no brain

Crystal Hudson
Junior Member

since 1999-12-01

Posts 11
Texas ---- U.S.A

3 posted 1999-12-08 09:55 PM

That was a very sweet poem, especially the last paragraph. is there really someone like that on your mind? If so I think you should give this poem to her. I would if I was a guy. Very Beautiful!

april_dawn_h
New Member

since 1999-12-10

Posts 9
southern California

4 posted 1999-12-11 12:08 PM

BOY!!!!!! You will SO get her! I'm tellin' you, I'm a junior and if a freshman told me that he felt that way about me I'd fall in love with him right there! You should tell her how you feel about her. I totally understand how you feel.
I feel the same way about someone who's several years older. It's so hard to try to guess if they feel the same way, isn't it?
You should go for it!

Lots of luck,
April

april_dawn_h
New Member

since 1999-12-10

Posts 9
southern California

5 posted 1999-12-11 12:09 PM

BOY!!!!!! You will SO get her! I'm tellin' you, I'm a junior and if a freshman told me that he felt that way about me I'd fall in love with him right there! You should tell her how you feel about her. I totally understand how you feel.
I feel the same way about someone who's several years older. It's so hard to try to guess if they feel the same way, isn't it?
You should go for it!

Lots of luck,
April

Isabelle
Member

since 1999-08-25

Posts 176
Indiana

6 posted 1999-12-11 11:26 PM

I like this poem. I agree with the others tell her..i see no way she could tell you no. I know how you feel when i was a freshman i liked a senior i regret , now two years later, that i never told him how i felt. Go for it.

Isabelle =)

roxy16
Junior Member

since 1999-09-22

Posts 13
Lithia Springs,GA,U.S.A

7 posted 1999-12-27 03:30 PM

I think this poem is beautiful! I wish I could write poetry that good but I'm a beginner. I hope you gave the poem to her because it would probably sweep her off her feet.

good luck
Melinda

starboards
Member

since 1999-10-14

Posts 467
longwood, florida

8 posted 1999-12-27 11:49 PM

Ender...how did you come up w/such an interesting name?? was it from a book...Enders Game?? I loved that book...oh about the poem, it shows great emotions you have for this lucky girl...it's her loss though, believe me!

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