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Teen Poetry #2
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Searching for these feelings faded
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Searching for these feelings faded |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa 
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Searching for these feelings faded, I Watch you fall away from me. Relationship long since negated, No hope things will ever be. Pictures once as clear as moonlight, Blur within my troubled mind. No one to speak of wrong and right, Both threaten to leave behind. Can't bare to see you leave once more, But you are like the desert sands. No time to try to close the door Already you’ve slipped trough my hands. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Maitay Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 158Sisters,OR,USA |
Great poem, I really liked it. But there was one part were it seemed as though you were really stretching it, trying to make it ryme. Well.... just check out the stanza where you have "relationship long since faded". but if yo like it, by all means keep it.  ------------------ ~The price of finding love is to eventually lose it. When I wish on a falling star, I wish not for material goods but to show kindness to others and be content with what the world may offer me~ ~Maitay Mirabel Litton~ |
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Star Fairy 2 Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260cerritos, california, usa |
this was beautifully expressed great job ------------------ Don't Fall.. Rise in Love -------823------- |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
i dont see the part? does it not flow, because its a vital part of the poem... |
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