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Singer1981
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA

0 posted 1999-12-03 01:24 PM


These are a group of sonnets I wrote in 9th grade...enjoy...

Winter
The days become short and the sky is dark
The fluffy snow has begun to fall down
The hits the silent and empty park
In the barren, deserted, quiet town

Our hands holding snowballs, fluffy and white
To throw at our friends, watching them tumble
We laugh as we play, and cry with delight
If we do fall, our snowball will crumble

Skiing and sledding are fun things to do
At first sight of snow, we head to the hill
Going at the top speed, all the day through
Staying out all the time, laughing until

Spring will be coming the snow will be gone
Flowers will be blooming, grass on the lawn.

Spring
The flowers begin to pop above ground
The stems and the leaves begin to take shape
The stems feel silky and the leaves are round
Blooms blanket the ground in a colored cape

Birds are beginning to sing their sweet song
High up in the sky, they fly round the trees
The wind through the branches whistles along
The leaves silently floating with the breeze

The days are getting longer, with more sun
Which helps the healthy new flowers to grow
There's more time to be outside, to have fun
To play some such games not played in the snow

Spring is a happy time for young and old
The beginning of warm, the end of cold.

Summer
Children are playing outside in the sun
Adults lie on chairs and try to get tan
They swim in the pool, and have lots of fun
Hot dogs on the grill, baked beans in a pan

July Fourth comes, firecrackers galore
People have picnics, family's unite
When the show goes on, we utter a roar
A roar of excitement and of delight

Summer is the best tiem to play baseball
All sunshine, no rain, slide into first base
Out at second, "that's a really bad call!
Get the umpire!" it's a wild-goose chase

Summer is coming to its final day
Sunshine dissapears, every single ray

Fall
The colors of leaves begin to change
From green to brilliant red, orange and gold
They float from high up, above our sight range
They fall to the ground, and die when they're old

The animals begin to gather food
For the coming winters' hibernation
The go about their work, in happy mood
Soon, they will sleep in their destination

The people start to bundle up with clothes
The wind makes them shiver, and hurts their face
Toes become frozen, as well does their nose
Hot cocoa sounds good, to the house they race

Winter and more cold are coming soon
People are already looking to June.


© Copyright 1999 Sarah Goldstein - All Rights Reserved
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 1999-12-03 04:40 PM


Welcome to Passions! Just a couple of notes. I am no expert on sonnets but they are supposed to be iambic pentameter. Your lines fall short of the pentameter. Also a sonnet is written with no breaks between the stanzas. I took a class on sonnets and I know the form. These are lovely poems but they are not sonnets. A sonnet is a very strict form. Any deversion from the form is not a sonnet.

Sorry if I was too critical...*sigh*

Singer1981
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA
2 posted 1999-12-03 06:00 PM


As I said, I wrote these when I was in 9th grade. But, in response to that, aside from the second line of my first poem, where I forgot the word snow, I see no place where my lines are not in iambic pentameter. Also, about the breaks, I only did that so my verses were a little more readable. With future sonnets, I wont' do that.
Thank you for your comments.

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
3 posted 1999-12-03 09:48 PM


As I said..these are very beautiful. I am sorry about the mistake. I read to hastely. You are right and the lines are pentameter. I was rushed this afternoon and didn't give them the attention that they deserved. I apologize. You have done a wonderful job with these. I tried a sonnets for the class I was taking and the form didn't like me much. I appaude you. These take much work and much effort.
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