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Teen Poetry #2
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Shorty Du Opp
Junior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 11
West Allis, WI, USA

0 posted 1999-11-29 07:02 PM


I know you don't believe me when I tell you that I love you but I do! I would be lost if it weren't for you. I was scared to love you at first but that moment is passed and gone. You tought my heart a new song. I wanted to die the day you said good-bye but now I realize it has only made my love for you stronger. When I was the one crying you were there for me and now that you are crying, you push me away. I want to help you, I want to be there for you the way you were there for me, but you wont let me, why? I know you want to die, but there has got to be another way to get rid of your pain. you are my reason for living and breathing, please don't leave. Please here my heeds and pleeds. If you die the so shall I!
Love: Your girl

© Copyright 1999 Shorty Du Opp - All Rights Reserved
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 1999-11-29 07:10 PM


Welcome to Passions Shorty. You express your feelings well in this piece. The only problem I have with it is this. I reads as a prose more then a poem. There is no form to it. Seems more like a letter that you wrote to Brad rather then a piece of poetry. I am going to move this to the prose forum. If you would like to rewrite it into a poetry piece I would love to read it here in the forum.

Thankyou.

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