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Goodbye
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Goodbye |
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melissaramsour Junior Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 16Aurora, NE |
Goodbye I'm sorry to say That I'll leave you now. Our time has come So fast somehow. We shared everything Our joys and our sorrows, I can't imagine life Not seeing you tomorrow. I'll never let go Of the memories we are Just because I can't see you Doesn't mean I'm not there I'm always beside you As close as the phone Because as long as you love me You'll never be alone |
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| © Copyright 1999 melissaramsour - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sweethaert14 New Member
since 1999-11-24
Posts 9west,ca,us |
i think this is a great poem i feel you have the talent to be a poet but your poem had some cunfusen to me because at first i thought you where trying to exsprece the lose of a friend but then at the end it seemed you where trying to exsprece the friends lose of you. i still think it is a great poem but i think you could exsprece your self a little more and make it atade bit clearer of the piont you where trying to get across.but im not saying ti is bad im just saying that you need to work on it. but so do every other poet who has come up with work including me. |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I have to disagree with Sweetheart. The intent in this came across very clear to me. sounds to me like you are moving away from a dear friend(first two lines bring that across). You are saying goodbye in physical presence but not in spirit. Very well done and well written. |
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melissaramsour Junior Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 16Aurora, NE |
This is a poem that I'm planning on giving to my very close friend Wade when I leave for college. I wanted to convey that, even though we won't be together, we'll still be close. Thank you for your comments!  |
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