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Teen Poetry #2
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ILoveSrfrs
Member
since 1999-11-14
Posts 69
California

0 posted 1999-11-15 09:10 PM


I'm 13 and I've never written a poem like this, I have only written love poems before so I would appreciate any feedback you could give me on this, thanks! Also, what do you think I should title this one?

Screams and
Yells for help
Insecure laughing
Harsh words being thrown like darts
Mournful tones
High-pitched moans
Cover my ears so I cannot hear

Tears and tears of devestation
Sad expressions
Unsure looks
Faces of pain
Hurtful Stares
Unknown Cares
Cover my eyes so I cannot see

Sobs of emotional destruction
Yells for wrongs and rights
Words being held in
Talking back
Words of hate
Unknown fate
Cover my mouth so I cannot speak

© Copyright 1999 ILoveSrfrs - All Rights Reserved
SweetStuff27
Junior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 10
LA, California, USA
1 posted 1999-11-15 09:16 PM


It makes me feel sad and depressed because I feel this persons pain. It is a very well written, very expressive and detailed peice of work. And I also feel that the writer of the poem should chose the title, it makes it so much more meaningfull to themselves and others.
Star Fairy 2
Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa
2 posted 1999-11-15 09:58 PM


this is very expressive
great work

------------------
Don't Fall.. Rise in Love
-------823-------

Lynn
Member
since 1999-09-20
Posts 316
Jasper, Alabama U.S.A.
3 posted 1999-11-15 10:21 PM



I have to agree with everyone above, it is a very expressive, and great piece of work

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