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| Teen Poetry #2 |
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The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny 
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she entered my life with a beat of my heart now im shattered as we brake apart my mind so clear myhead so dull as thoughts of death cross through my skull they say there are millions of fish in the sea but she was my catch special for me i can have so much more wenever i need so y split my wrists and watch my slef bleed? memories of u run through my mind but of good ones i still can not find first i see u then i see mud then i see my bodie swamped in blood ppl say the end is farther then near but i see the end its right over here many ppl remember a smile on my face but now they say "depression has taken over its plase" now death will come and i will die all depending on how my bodie lie deaht will hopefully come by tommorow so life can end in pittiful sorrow ------------------ I wish i were a poet |
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| © Copyright 1999 The Mike Sacks - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
You are definately a poet....could be a great one. I have one question though. Why the short forms and are the spelling mistakes purposeful? The flow to this piece is wonderful. If written in complete form you would have a great piece here. [This message has been edited by Marilyn (edited 11-15-1999).] |
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The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny |
i like to spell however it osunds in my head,b/c its coming from my heart... |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I understand coming from your heart Mike. You have an amazing gift here. If you perfect it you could really go far with this talent. Think about it. |
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The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny |
i have a book koming out in bout 4 months |
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The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny |
k |
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Litzie Junior Member
since 1999-11-14
Posts 12 |
nice job on the poem...it created this picture in my mind of what you were saying, which I happen to love...good topic too! |
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The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny |
er |
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The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny |
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Singer1981 Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148Fredonia, NY USA |
I agree with some in saying you could be a great poet. Now, I know I'm not a great poet, or even a good one for that matter, but I agree with some when they say you should clean up your gramatical errors and such. Since it's coming from the heart, why does that have to mean making it unreadable for some people? And I'm not trying to sound mean...but just because you supposedly have a book coming out, how does that make you the expert on all poetry? |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Mike, your poems are good, and i like to read them, but dude....like life sometimes things just fade away and you keep brining all your poems back up to the top of the page its almost like flooding a chat room... anyways... nice job none the less |
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The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny |
Dear ppl ,this site avgs botu 3 new members a day,these poems mean to much to let them go away with out giving new comers the opertunity to read em |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
too much to who mike? i would be willing to bet a million dollars that every poet who posts here feels there poems are meaningful they would be crazy not to, and when i got here, i went delving through the archives for days i was so excited there was such good poetry.... if you want to talk about this further email me cause im sure this isnt the place for such things....ps where does it say how many people join the forum a day, if so thats incredible, im glad im a part of this |
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The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny |
i sat u;p alln ights cheklking every memerber and wen they joined...i knoq forum 1 avged that spo i assume its eathyer the same or more |
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