navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #2 » terrible poem <Every1 im gettin a book of poems published.nyers email me if u want in
Teen Poetry #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic terrible poem <Every1 im gettin a book of poems published.nyers email me if u want in Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
The Mike Sacks
Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129
brooklyn ny

0 posted 1999-11-12 10:52 AM


They say for 2 years
she slept with her hands
on her heads
in a protecting sorta way.

They say i scared her for life
and now she's scared of every1
she sees,touches or
starts to love.

They told me she sleeps witha pillow
on the floor next to the bed
so if shes falls down.
she wont get hurt...again

I didnt mean to hurt any of them
they were just pretty and looking for love
as i was cute and lookin for sex

© Copyright 1999 The Mike Sacks - All Rights Reserved
Star Fairy 2
Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa
1 posted 1999-11-12 01:41 PM


yikes!
umm... disturbing?
sorry this is the only thing i can think of cuz i cant and do not want to relate to this.

------------------
Don't Fall.. Rise in Love
-------823-------

Lilli
Junior Member
since 1999-11-06
Posts 21
Melbourne, Australia
2 posted 1999-11-13 02:04 AM


*sigh* don't tell me you're one of those guys who loves one night stands, then regrets it, then just does it again... gawd, that type hurt so many people..
But the poem was well written, I guess its a little different on the other end of the bargain.



------------------
There's a pretty girl on the face of the magazine
What I see is my dirty hands turning the page

Maitay
Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 158
Sisters,OR,USA
3 posted 1999-11-13 04:34 PM


I have to agree with what the other two said. This peice was good but scary. Frightening how someone could do that. I hope you were just pulling this out of nowhere cuase you've never sounded like the type to do this. Great writing though.

------------------
~The price of finding love is to eventually lose it. When I wish on a falling star, I wish not for material goods but to show kindness to others and be content with what the world may offer me~

~Maitay Mirabel Litton~



STACY
Junior Member
since 1999-11-12
Posts 10
veiNNie,ny
4 posted 1999-11-13 06:52 PM


i think it was good. Im a knid of girl who like that knid of guy.ya know no string attached just a little fun.
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........
5 posted 1999-11-13 09:07 PM


Mike.....I think sex is meaningless without love, and if you are the type who is just sleeping around, I don't think you actually catch the concept of what it is meant to be.....I think that people who sleep around are not mature enough to be having sex. I am not one of those no sex, no drugs types, but

I take sex very seriously, and, haveing had two partners, I regret the first because I was not in love. It meant nothing to me, and I felt guilty for the reasons I did it (another story) and that my first time wasn't special....it truly can't be special unless you are in love.

Having sex and making love are two entirely different things....do not get them confused, and do not let any girls confuse it. Let them know right away, if you must continue in this type of behavior, that you just want sex. Certainly, some girls will oblige.

------------------
Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices.



The Mike Sacks
Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129
brooklyn ny
6 posted 1999-11-16 01:14 PM


k

STACY
Junior Member
since 1999-11-12
Posts 10
veiNNie,ny
7 posted 1999-11-16 06:22 PM


Im sorry i think the total oppisite of Systematic decay because he is right making love and having sex are to different things and i think that there doesnt ned to be love to have sex.

Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........
8 posted 1999-11-17 07:55 PM


STACEY, first off, I am female. Second of all, you are right, there doesn't have to be love to have sex; the skyrocketing teen pregnancies and typical talk-show america are proof of that. However, I must ask, have you ever been in love? I mean true love, not I love you for a month then date another guy a week after we break up love. Making love is so much more special that sex....sex without love is merely mutual masturbation, it is like a handshake...these two comparisons came from Ron and Poet deVine in one of the discussion forums. I sincerely hope that, if you ever do fall in love, you don't regret your decision to have sex. And by all means, I hope you are using protection. That is all I have to say.

------------------
Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices.



The Mike Sacks
Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129
brooklyn ny
9 posted 1999-11-17 09:25 PM


i have been in love we were together for 11motnhs,im reachin the year and a half mark of wen we brokek up and i can still say im in love with her...
STACY
Junior Member
since 1999-11-12
Posts 10
veiNNie,ny
10 posted 1999-11-20 12:09 PM


you have no right to tell me my opion is wrong cause you dont know me and i think that your veiw of love is twisted it doesnt happen over night it takes years to find love and most people dont wait years and yes i have been in love i am curently dating a guy who i have been with for 2 and a half years. so dont try to tell me love is this great thing love is care about someone else and putting them before you. that is love!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
11 posted 1999-11-20 03:13 PM


Stacey..that is not what love is completely. I am not saying that you are wrong, just that you are young and have much life ahead of you to figure it all out. I hope it is a happy and fulfilling journey. I will reiterate my comment from Mike's favorite poem. I do not want to see this confrontation between you and Systematic Decay to continue. Try and put this comments behind you both, and continue in a civil manner.

Thankyou.

Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
12 posted 1999-11-20 04:32 PM


To Stacy, nobody says that you have no right to express your opinion, but don't get so defensive when others are expressing theirs that's all.

To SysD, I agree with you completely, but sometimes I just wonder why do you get into these arguements. These people won't undestand you and you won't change their opinion! That's one of the reasons I stopped replying here! Keep on sharing your work and your knowledge with those who understand you and like your work. Personally, I like the way you write and I like the way you think even more! If you ever need a good critique or want to chat or anything, email me. Best wishes, M

[This message has been edited by Master (edited 11-20-1999).]

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
13 posted 1999-11-20 06:07 PM


Once again I shall say, we are here to learn, grow, share and better ourselves.
Not to argue and nit pick. I'm 32 and I know somethings are best just left to lie.

------------------
Through poetry my heart and soul truly sing...
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)


Erynn Griffin
Junior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 27
San Angelo, TX United States
14 posted 1999-11-20 08:18 PM


I completely agree with Stacy and with SYSD because I am not a virgin and I lost it to a boyfriend of 7 1/2 months and we were in love and still are it is just a matter of that he will be going off to college soon and we won't be together we broke up 3 days ago and he was my first "true love" love is a feeling you ahve for someone that is compassionate and shared between two people that are special to eachother what love is is what you think love is ther is no definite definition of the word love
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........
15 posted 1999-11-20 08:50 PM


STACEY,,,,,re-read what I said to you......the second thing I said was YOU ARE RIGHT. Also, I never said Love should be an over night thing...I never tried to define love, or tell you what to think about love.

Marilyn, I never was rude about anything. It was my purpose to engage in a conversation, not an argument. I have been, and am, proceeding in a civilized manner.

Master,I will reitterate that I didn't try to start an argument. Also, did any one ever think about the fact that by starting CIVILIZED debates, we might be able to keep Teen 2 going more efficiently?

I understand your logic on why you quit replying.

STACEY- no hard feelings. K?

------------------
Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices.



Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
16 posted 1999-11-20 09:14 PM


I never said you started it, and if you had I would have been on your side. I just think that CIVILIZED debates should be between friends, not strangers. No matter how hard you try some people will never understand you and neither will you understand them! So...
That's just my opinion...

Lilli
Junior Member
since 1999-11-06
Posts 21
Melbourne, Australia
17 posted 1999-11-21 03:32 AM


Civilised arguments are one thing, when both parties are being civilised and respect the other's opinion. Personally, I feel that small debates, as such, can enlighten someone on the 'other half of an argument' but they can still keep their opinion. Stating your viewpoint can get a few things off your chest sometimes. But when things start getting nasty, and people start taking someone else's view to heart, is when everything should stop.

I feel everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion, even if I feel that my view is more moral etc. they may still have their view *shrug* let things lie...

To Stacey, Let SysDecay have her opinion without letting it get to you. She hasn't let yours get to her, she seems to have accepted it in a mature fashion. Keep up with your opinion, and if it's the way you like to think, then keep at it.

To SysDecay, I see your point very clearly, and I understand fully where you come from. I like a lot of your poetry too, so keep at it.

Sorry for this all, Lilli.


------------------
There's a pretty girl on the face of the magazine
What I see is my dirty hands turning the page

foxy_16
Junior Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 31
Lake Lillian, MN, USA
18 posted 1999-11-21 10:10 PM


mike
i think your writing is so deep and meaningful, even if this one was sad as hell. You're a very talented person, just reading your stuff makes me feel like i know you somehow- even though i don't. Keep writing stuff like this- no matter if it's deep, and dreary, and sad- i think this is what makes peotry mean something. Just being truthful. Good Luck.
~Kayla~

sweethaert14
New Member
since 1999-11-24
Posts 9
west,ca,us
19 posted 1999-11-24 06:22 PM


i agree with both of you stavy and systematic decay i think since opinions cant be right or wrong you are both intitiled to one but you don thave to start and arguement because of them yes civil debates arev good but this on eis getting out of hand. since i have talked to stacy about this because she talked to me online she has told m ethat she will no t be coming back to this sight aND SAID TO TELL SYSTEMATIS DECAY THAT SHE APOLIGIZES AN DSAID SHE NEVER MENT OT TELL YOU THAT YOUR OPINION WAS WRONG AND SHE.
Krut
Junior Member
since 1999-11-26
Posts 27
Adams, Wi U.S.A
20 posted 1999-11-26 03:21 PM


Mike im that girl...and it sucks...you need to realize that it not only hurts you but the girl....she has feelings to...and i think u said it in ure poem...ure an awsome writer...keep writing okay...
Erin123
Junior Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 13
Chicago, IL
21 posted 1999-11-26 04:36 PM


this is a very emotion-grabbing piece, and everyone seems to have their own opinion about it. i think that paople should always think about how others might feel when they do something. the girl who was played like that could have had her life ruined by this. you should really remember that one day, something like this might happen to you. it really hurts to think that you truely care for someone and have something special, only to find out that you were nothing but a game.
Misty
Member
since 1999-08-01
Posts 121
USA
22 posted 1999-11-28 03:23 PM


If anyone cares to hear my opinion, if not, it's cool! But I think that you should wait, it's not something to rush into, wait tell your properly married! Then you really know it's love, yes you can be in love with out marrage, but garenteed it will mean alot more! Mike your poem was well written, meaningful, but I just don't like what it says, but that's just me, don't listen to my opinion on the poem, but your a great poet from the other poems I've seen you write!

------------------
©Misty
For more Poems bye Misty GO TO:
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Arc/1644

"You died a failure because you never tried!"


The Mike Sacks
Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129
brooklyn ny
23 posted 1999-12-01 10:47 PM


thanx

------------------
I wish i were a poet

The Mike Sacks
Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129
brooklyn ny
24 posted 1999-12-02 11:19 PM


This poem really means alot to me
Beri
Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 149

25 posted 1999-12-02 11:27 PM


This poem was awesome, and it really should mean alot to you, everything you write should. Now, out of curiousity, are you writing out of experience with this one? You don't have to answer, I'm just wondering. I have read everyone elses responses, and they all assume that you are speaking out of experience, but then again who knows for sure but you? I am older than some of you, that I am sure of. I see you all have your own ideas of sex and love, and that's fine. Have you own ideas and express them as you wish, but try to keep in mind that everyone has feelings, and you need to repsect them. I am not giving my opinion though ... I'm just gonna leave that alone now ...
Once again, great job Mike!

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #2 » terrible poem <Every1 im gettin a book of poems published.nyers email me if u want in

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary