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Teen Poetry #2

Friendships

Bright Melody
Junior Member

since 1999-11-06

Posts 37
O'Fallon Illinois

0 posted 1999-11-06 09:53 PM

I got your back
You got mine,
I'll help you out
Anytime.

To see you hurt
To see you cry,
Makes me weep
And want to die.

And if you agree
To never fight,
It wouldn't matter
Who's wrong or right.

If a broken heart
Needs a mend,
I'll be right there
To the end.

If your cheeks are wet
From drops of tears,
Don't you worry,
Let go of your fears.

Hand in hand
Love is sent,
We'll be friends
Till the end.

Please reply. I'd like some imput on this. Thanks.

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Never frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

1 posted 1999-11-06 11:08 PM

Welcome to Passions!!!

I like this.....short lines like this are very difficult to write, and you did so well, keeping the meter nice and the rhyme nearly perfect.....

Might I suggest for the last stanza-

Hand in hand
With you, my friend
Love is sent
Until the end

I also like the tribute in the poem.

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Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices.

Laura Mitchell
Member

since 1999-11-05

Posts 76
Cincinnati OH,45238

2 posted 1999-11-07 02:13 PM

I agree with S.D., you did an excellent job. I wish all friendships could be like that.

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