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Teen Poetry #2
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Lonely Poet
New Member
since 1999-11-02
Posts 3
California

0 posted 1999-11-02 08:52 PM


Shadows
Shadows are all around us
Surrounding us with fear
Driving people crazy
Bringing people tears
Shadows lurking all about
Without words the shadows shout
In the night the shadows play
Shadows are present
In night or day
Shadows follow us around
They are cast upon the ground
In the darkness evil lurks
Shadows follow
Every move and jerk
From within the shadows cry
From their birth they never die

© Copyright 1999 Lonely Poet - All Rights Reserved
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 1999-11-02 11:05 PM


this one was very nicely done. The flow at the beginning of this was excellent. I tripped a couple of times from the middle to the end. On the whole a wonderful job.
JEBE
Junior Member
since 1999-11-02
Posts 32
WILMINGTON, NC, USA
2 posted 1999-11-04 09:51 PM


VERY COOL SUBJECT...THE ONLY PART OF THE POEM THAT TRIPS THE RHYTHM IS "IN NIGHT OR DAY" I WOULD JUST TAKE OUT THE "IN" AND "EVERY MOVE AND JERK" BUT OVERALL GOOD JOB...
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