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Teen Poetry #2

What About Me?!

BraTt
Junior Member

since 1999-10-25

Posts 41
Yakima, WA United States

0 posted 1999-10-26 06:48 PM

****What About Me?!****

I want you, and only you.
Can't you see that this is true?
I'd give up my life, my eternity,
If you could only see, we were meant to be!

It's not fair, to live this way,
When I have to keep my emotions at bay.
Everyone but you knows,
They way this feelings always grows.

They all say we should be a couple,
When I see you, my feelings always double.
But you chose her, over me,
I gues it's true, love isn't free.

kari
Member

since 1999-10-03

Posts 104
Hyde Park, Ut, USA

1 posted 1999-10-26 10:06 PM

I really like the way this poem rhymed. It also told a good story. Awesome job!

starboards
Member

since 1999-10-14

Posts 467
longwood, florida

2 posted 1999-10-26 11:22 PM

I really like the way this poem expressed your emotions, i especially like the part that said I guess it's true, love isnt free...because you cant chose who you love, you just love that person...great job!

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"If you love something let it go...if it comes back to you it is yours...if it doesnt then it never was"

Marilyn
Member Elite

since 1999-09-26

Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

3 posted 1999-10-29 10:53 PM

I agree with the others. You have caputured the rage, pain and sorrow very well. Good work.

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

4 posted 1999-10-31 01:47 PM

Very nice, I have a friend who would be well advised to read this.

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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

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