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Teen Poetry #2
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drinking and driving (please read)
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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drinking and driving (please read) |
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Piggy New Member
since 1999-10-25
Posts 5Belleville, IL, USA |
I wrote this a few months back about a friend who got into a car acciedent cause she was drinking and driving. The worst part about it there were three other people in the car and one of them was a german exchange student. The one person who walked away was the one person wearing his seat belt. I didn't think accidents happen to people i know trust me i didn't but it takes once to realize how precious life is and how quick it can be taken away. I know if i say not to drink and drive it won't make a difference but i hope that every person that reads this thinks about the consequences. In this little hick town it is normal to have a few drinks and get in a car but this time they have taken it to far For it was one of my best friends that left with that smile on her face She was not goofing off, speeding, or trying to race When seh left the party she said she was fine to drive By the time she arove to the hospital she was lucky to be alive All she wanted was to go out and have a little fun Never crossing through here mind what damage she could have done Everyone gets in that car and drives away Never thinking how better there life would be if they call someone or stay In this tiny town it has not happend in a few years But how many people will remian to do this lingers in my fears Some people will realize what life is worth and some will not Some people will turn around and do the same yet some people were tought We are told from a young age drinking and driving don't mix but no one really lestins till the damage hits Everything happens for a reason and this will make her strong because of the harsh consequences she knows she was wrong She is a alive only because a little help of fate and never again will she drink and drive to make the same mistake! ------------------ **The only man worth your tears will never make you cry!!** |
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| © Copyright 1999 Piggy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
A very good point. Nice. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I think you have the beginnings of a wonderful and powerful piece here. I would like to challange you to work on it a bit more. You have a rhyme scheme but no regular meter. If this was written free verse (that is what I am thinking) then a standard meter is not necessary. Some of the speling etc could be cleaned up. There is strength in the theme and in most of the verses but I found myself stumbling over bits and pieces. As I said I think this could be a very powerful message. Think about a rewrite. Let me know what you think. |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
I really liked this poem. I wish people would open thier eyes. A very good friend of mine was in an accident, not because he was drunk, but because the other driver was too drunk to see the light was red. My friend died on impact, the other guy had a few scratches at the most. What hurt me the most was to see his girlfriend, whose almost like a sister to me, cry. But like they say...you have to forgive and forget. I thought this poem was excellent |
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Piggy New Member
since 1999-10-25
Posts 5Belleville, IL, USA |
Thanks a lot for the replys. I am really sorry to hear about your friend. People really need to wake up and realize how thier actions effect other people. I would like to rewrite this but i wouldn't know how. The only reason i write poems is to express my pain and emotions. I don't even know what free verse means, I just try to put emotions in words. If you would like to email me and help me figure out how to recreate this then email me. Piggy169@AOL.com. thanks a lot!! ------------------ **The only man worth your tears will never make you cry!!** |
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Richard 33 Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 187glen easton, wv usa |
I think your message here is a great one!!! Yes, it is true you are only one, but if you can prevent one person from drinking,driving, and dieing, That would be great, maybe one person can't do much, but think what could happen, if you, and some friends that feel the same as you get togther, you could save hundreds from the same fate!!!!!!! |
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Piggy New Member
since 1999-10-25
Posts 5Belleville, IL, USA |
That would be so great but, i don't find it possible. I tell many people time and time again not to get in the car and i am a small girl and they normaly don't lestine to me. The thing that i am trying to do is make sure that everyone realizes it dosn't just happen to people you hear about i never ever ever imagined anything like this at all and here it is. Also offer rides tell people you don't care what time where or any other circumstances all they have to do is call and you will come pick them up. ------------------ **The only man worth your tears will never make you cry!!** |
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Lynn Member
since 1999-09-20
Posts 316Jasper, Alabama U.S.A. |
Piggy...I can relate very well with the situation. One of my ex-boyfriends was injured very baddly in a car accident, when a drunk driver ran him off the road. And one of my close friend's brother was killed in a car wreck, while driving drunk. If people would only realize the risks they take when getting into a car under the influence of alcohol or any intoxicating substance for that matter, people would be a lot better off. I really enjoyed the poem..... ------------------ "I Believe we are divine by nature." -Jewel Grace is the refinement of a soul over time. -Jewel |
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