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Passions in Poetry

Inside Ice

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Astraea
Member
since 11-09-1999
Posts 397
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm


0 posted 11-09-1999 01:53 AM       View Profile for Astraea   Email Astraea   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Astraea

I need some thoughts on improving this poem I've written. For some reason, the main subject is never too clear and I hope I've written it in such a way that it is.
Thank you!

Inside Ice

Calm, cool, ice
No feelings touch me
Cold, empty, snow
Nothing escapes me
Chiseled from gusty life
Shaped from clay
frozen
I'm an ice princess
Will the wind never release me?

Collected, you say
Indifferent to you
Withdrawn from the world
you wish
you scream
you wish
you leave
I'm an ice princess
Will the fractures never stop?

Touches to reach for
Pulling away from the warmth
afraid I would melt
Caresses dreamed at night
Waking alone, lonely
crying the parts that have thawed
Words straining to say
Only to write on paper
thrown away needlessly
Chances wanted again
To do something different
the mistakes permanent
I'm an ice princess
Will the feelings ever return again?

Raging inside
Beneath is a heat I ache
Under the ice is a child
wanting
crying
dreaming
sleeping
cold
Skin deep there is a heart
Frozen in ice
Afire with cold
Dying along
There is a fire deep
Blazing and passionate
the fire burns
eternal
Not to be snuffed in the harshest storm
the ice melts, renews, thaws, cracks
the fire lives still
I'm an ice princess
Will the fire inside never bloom?

I'm an ice princess
Locked in an ice tower
outside it rages a blizzard
I'm a china doll
Cracking under the strain
the shards falling bit by bit
I'm a lonely child
Wishing on an invisible star
only to wake from a dream
I'm a tortured soul
Love chained on a cold leash
dying a painful death
I'm a nightingale
With so many things to say
but no tongue to say it
I'm a snow maiden
Beautiful as purity
no color of my own
I'm myself
Melting away into oblivion
teardrops staining my heart
I'm an ice princess
Will I ever find myself?

Inside, there is a fire
slowly dimming in storm's power
Inside, there is a child
wasting away in broken dreams
Inside, there is a woman
with so much love to give
Inside, there is a princess
alone in an empty castle
Inside, there is lovely heart
frozen in ice
Inside is me
I'm an ice princess

© Copyright 1999 Tiffany - All Rights Reserved
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


1 posted 11-09-1999 01:39 PM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Although loss of feeling seems to be a reccuring topic it's a bit lost in the wording.Anger and dispare seem to be a part to.Nicely written but a bit confusing.Hope I could help!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
 
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