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Passions in Poetry

On Angels' Wings

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Denise
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since 08-22-99
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0 posted 11-08-1999 10:17 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Denise

(I'm not sure about this one guys, I need your opinion. My mother-in-law asked me if I would write something in memory of her niece and her niece's daughter who both tragically died three years ago, three months apart. What do you think? And is the apostrophe in the correct spot or should it be between the l and the s as I am thinking of angels in the plural? The idea for this came from WhtDove's challenge a while back)

Since lifted high on angel wings
Of gossamer and lace
I've seen so many wondrous things
And seen Him face to face.

Enraptured by the King of Kings
Wrapped up in His embrace
My soul eternally it sings
Of His amazing grace.

When you arrive and see the King
The beauty in His face
You'll find the end of suffering
All pain He will erase.

When lifted high on angel wings
Of gossamer and lace
You'll see so many splendor'd things
And wonders of His grace.

Once reunited in this place
Of lacy angel wings
We'll be together by His grace
As all of heaven sings.

Thanks for any help you can give!

------------------
Denise

[This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 11-08-1999).]

[This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 11-08-1999).]

[This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 11-09-1999).]

[This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 11-09-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Denise - All Rights Reserved
Jennifer Marie O'Neil
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since 11-01-1999
Posts 48
port charlotte fl/bklyn ny


1 posted 11-08-1999 10:24 PM       View Profile for Jennifer Marie O'Neil   Email Jennifer Marie O'Neil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jennifer Marie O'Neil

I am not sure about your apostrophe abut i think you are right - s' - well wherever it goes this is lovley poem !

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Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of faith is to see what we believe. AUGUSTINE
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


2 posted 11-08-1999 10:25 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

I would use Angel's Wings ...
and by the way, how angelic the thoughts.

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~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com
Balladeer
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3 posted 11-08-1999 10:28 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

It's a beautiful poem, Denise. Well done.

In the fourth line, you need to use "seen" to be correct. As far as the title is concerned, the way you have it is correct for multiple angels.

It is excellent.
Denise
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4 posted 11-08-1999 10:35 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thanks for your help and kind comments, Jennifer, Marge and Balladeer! It is much appreciated! Now I can get this ready for them and not have any doubts about it!

------------------
Denise

Mike
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since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


5 posted 11-08-1999 10:46 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Beautiful Denise...
Denise
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since 08-22-99
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6 posted 11-08-1999 11:15 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thanks, Mike! I'm glad you liked it!

------------------
Denise

Michael
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since 08-13-99
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7 posted 11-09-1999 12:45 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

A beautiful poem, Denise. I don't see much of anything I would change other than "angels' wings" could effectively be said "angel wings" and still hold the same meaning. Having two words back to back ending with "s" can often cause a pause in the reading.

Wonderful job.

Michael
Skyfyre
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since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


8 posted 11-09-1999 12:59 AM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

I like it just as it is -- but I think "lacey" is actually spelled "lacy"!

An uplifting read Denise, thank you!

--Kess

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You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.

Pepper
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since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

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9 posted 11-09-1999 09:25 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Very beautiful Denise......

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A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!

X Angel
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since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


10 posted 11-09-1999 09:28 AM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

What a loving thing to do
The poem was really nice, I do agree with the 'Deermeister tho.....
Luv X

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"We have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night" (Tombstone epitaph of two amateur astronomers)
RSEvans
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since 10-23-1999
Posts 1187
Tulsa, OK, USA


11 posted 11-09-1999 09:31 AM       View Profile for RSEvans   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSEvans

Beautiful poem D....angel's (singular possessive) angels' (plural possessive).

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Once I was brilliant, now I no longer shine, but the twinkle in my eye speaks of another time.
Watcher666
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since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


12 posted 11-09-1999 01:50 PM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Beautiful!

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Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
Denise
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13 posted 11-09-1999 07:56 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thank you all so much for all your help and kind comments!

------------------
Denise

 
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