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Passions in Poetry

my finest work please read

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Kevin
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 11-02-1999
Posts 752
Torrington, Ct, Usa


0 posted 11-02-1999 05:22 PM       View Profile for Kevin   Email Kevin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Kevin

The words repeated in my head
I had been practicing for days
and yet these words could not be said
lost among my hearts delays.
the silence fell on both our ears
why did you still seem so content
struggling just to face my fears
it seemed like hours came and went.
when somehow in your gazing eyes
amiss my most unveiling hour
I felt an inner passion rise
and granted on myself the power
to tell you everything I felt
you smiled at me and brought me near
I kissed your lips and felt mine melt
as you whispered in my ear.
your softly spoken loving words
were the sweetest sounding ever said,
and ever since the day I heard,
your words repeated in my head.


© Copyright 1999 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


1 posted 11-02-1999 05:27 PM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Beautiful!!Well done!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


2 posted 11-02-1999 05:29 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Wow, I truly enjoyed this. Your rhythm and rhyme are excellent. I also liked many of the lines, (but some of them could be better). I also liked the ending, but it would even be much better and much more realistic if you included the words that she told you in the poem. Just my opinion. Thanks for a great read.
Kevin
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 11-02-1999
Posts 752
Torrington, Ct, Usa


3 posted 11-02-1999 05:33 PM       View Profile for Kevin   Email Kevin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kevin

her words were thank you =)
ill put them at the end "thank you" master
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
4 posted 11-02-1999 05:42 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Very sweet piece Kevin that I enjoyed reading.
Welcome to Passions!
------------------
A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extrordinaire!


[This message has been edited by Pepper (edited 11-02-1999).]
Kevin
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 11-02-1999
Posts 752
Torrington, Ct, Usa


5 posted 11-02-1999 06:08 PM       View Profile for Kevin   Email Kevin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kevin

thanks for the welcome pepper

=)

and the compliments

plus i want to keep this on top =)
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


6 posted 11-02-1999 08:11 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very sweet, indeed! Welcome to Passions, Kevin!

------------------
Denise

Patrick B
Member
since 10-28-1999
Posts 58
uk


7 posted 11-02-1999 08:25 PM       View Profile for Patrick B   Email Patrick B   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Patrick B

well done,good work
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


8 posted 11-02-1999 10:45 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Nicely done
Kevin
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 11-02-1999
Posts 752
Torrington, Ct, Usa


9 posted 11-03-1999 12:21 AM       View Profile for Kevin   Email Kevin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kevin

thanks again guys
i love feedback
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


10 posted 11-03-1999 02:25 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Fine work, kevin,
Welcome to Passions.
A simple thank you can be one of the most heartfelt gifts to the reciever, well done.


Michael
Dolphins3
Member
since 09-30-1999
Posts 142
Wisconsin


11 posted 11-03-1999 08:04 PM       View Profile for Dolphins3   Email Dolphins3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dolphins3

Beautiful Poem Kevin. I enjoyed it very much. =)
Kevin
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 11-02-1999
Posts 752
Torrington, Ct, Usa


12 posted 11-03-1999 08:08 PM       View Profile for Kevin   Email Kevin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kevin

mike? =)
thanks i think
Kevin
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 11-02-1999
Posts 752
Torrington, Ct, Usa


13 posted 11-03-1999 08:09 PM       View Profile for Kevin   Email Kevin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kevin

oops i put that under the wrong post
Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 08-26-99
Posts 1064
northern mountains, Idaho


14 posted 11-05-1999 03:21 AM       View Profile for Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Email Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rosemary J. Gwaltney's Home Page   View IP for Rosemary J. Gwaltney

Very, very sweet. I liked this very much.

------------------
...Living is ever like crossing rivers; finding a new life on each shore ... RJG
redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


15 posted 11-05-1999 01:45 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

Very enjoyable and "readable". I like it!
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


16 posted 04-18-2004 10:10 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

you've had some pretty good stuff over time
 
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