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Passions in Poetry

Blinded By Battle (An Acrostic)

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hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


0 posted 11-01-1999 08:34 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

(You will notice I had to play with the meter in a few places. I started and finished this as an acrostic, but am not sure if the acrostic adds or distracts from this one)

Blinded By Battle (An Acrostic)

Into the night their weapons fired; and the
Night grew into day
The soldiers marched into the battle
Heads held high,
Elite, were they

Countries challenged other countries
Oceans crossed, the lands destroyed
United, soldiers marched in battle
Naval ships and jets employed
Tens of thousands would be heroes
Raged against their fellow man
Young or old, it made no difference
Over countless hills they ran
Fearless in their quest for victory
They stood tall and took their aim
Hit and felled intended targets
Ever strong the soldiers came

Blinded in the rage of battle
Loosing not, to claim defeat
Into war, they carried onward
Nameless faces on the street
Donned with guns and bullets many
Officers to guide their way
Never fearing, they moved onward
Lighting darkest night to day
Years of careful preparation and
The best of weaponry
Half the world enjoined together
Engaged in battle to be free

Only one can be the victor
Now the final hour’s here
Each man stands against the other
Each refuses to show fear
Yielding never, they continue
Endless gunshots fill the air
Dying soldiers fall beside them
Masks of death, their comrades wear
Every man no longer thinking
Numb and blind beyond compare
“All or nothing!” scream their leaders
Resounding shouts, “the victory’s near!”
Early morning light arises
Killed and wounded lie in wait
In the final stage of battle
No one recognized their fate
Guns once roaring, now are silent
~and with the rising of the sun
Screams of pain have all grown quiet
~a war was fought, but no one won


(*Incase you don't want to figure the whole thing out for yourself, the acrostic is: In the country of the blind only the one eyed men are kings)

------------------
Alis volat propriis



[This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 11-01-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


1 posted 11-01-1999 08:51 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Hoot,
A remarkable work, it was unexpected from you, but a very good piece, I meant writing about war. Good job.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 11-01-1999 08:54 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Laughing....I'm glad you clarified that Seymore, was beginning to wonder there.
Now the question...

Does the acrostic add to or distract from this piece?

[This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 11-01-1999).]
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


3 posted 11-01-1999 09:38 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Hoot this was very well done! I think the acrostic adds to it. It gives for a deep meaning to the rest of it.
Excellent piece of work my friend!
tori
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since 06-18-99
Posts 521
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA


4 posted 11-01-1999 09:45 AM       View Profile for tori   Email tori   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tori's Home Page   View IP for tori

Enjoyed the read hoot. I also agree with Dove.. makes it stronger..
Craig
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since 06-10-99
Posts 882


5 posted 11-01-1999 02:47 PM       View Profile for Craig   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Craig


This poem is an excellent example of an acrostic well done, It just adds proof to what I've thought about your writing since you started posting. Well done.

Craig


------------------
Yes, I admit your general rule. That every poet is a fool:
But I myself may serve to show it. That every fool is not a poet.

Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


6 posted 11-01-1999 03:59 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Awesome Ruth!
In my op, I think the acrostic doesn't detract in the slightest, though pointing it out did make me read it first!
I see I'm starting to have some acrostic competition!
hoot_owl_rn
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since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


7 posted 11-01-1999 05:34 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Thank you everyone...another 4 AM rant.

Craig, I appreciate your compliment, thank you very much

Chris, you competition? Never. I am a novice on acrostics in comparision to you.
Andrew Scott
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since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


8 posted 11-01-1999 06:16 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Lady Hoot: That's one heavy-duty acrostic! I've heard this saying before and I find that it only enhances the message behind your words. Not to take away from anything that you've done in the past, but I like the change of subject matter for you as well.
I heard that during WWII the average age of the American soldier was 25... in Korea it was 23 and in Viet Nam 19. And something about the younger men not being wise enough to realize their own mortality, thus possessing a greater desire to do battle... being blind to one's fate. All in all, a fine read. Thanks for the time and effort. I bow to you and yours.
Watcher666
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since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


9 posted 11-01-1999 06:20 PM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Excellent Hoot. No one evers wins in war.

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


10 posted 11-01-1999 07:47 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Wow! What on earth were you worried about? Fantastic job, Ruth.
Denise
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since 08-22-99
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11 posted 11-01-1999 08:47 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This is fantastic Hoot! I believe the acrostic definitely adds to this piece. Well done.

------------------
Denise

DreamEvil
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since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


12 posted 11-01-1999 08:52 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Excellent message and verse Ruth.

------------------
Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©

Systematic Decay
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since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


13 posted 11-01-1999 09:05 PM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

Wow, Ruth....astounding work!!! I love the acrostic too......just...wonderful!!

------------------
Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices.


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


14 posted 11-01-1999 09:29 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Denise, Severn, watcher, dream and systematic....wow, thank you all for your comments and I guess I will leave it as it is with the acrostic intact

Sir Andrew...Thank you, it was a nice change of subject. I like what you said about the average age of soldiers, but, young and old alike, when faced with rage, can be blinded. The quest for power in itself blinds many a man/woman.

------------------
Alis volat propriis
wayoutwalt
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since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


15 posted 11-01-1999 09:47 PM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

this is a nicely done message miss hoot yuh as always am impressed and it didnt take way from the message cuz i ignored the acrostic yuh
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


16 posted 11-02-1999 09:05 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Thanks Walt
JennyLee
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since 09-01-99
Posts 1478
Northwestern, NJ.


17 posted 11-02-1999 09:12 AM       View Profile for JennyLee   Email JennyLee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JennyLee

I like very much, the message is a good one and the acrostic is not a detractor from the body of the poem. Great work

Jenny
Blackdrake
Member
since 07-23-99
Posts 85
Depends on the day :)


18 posted 11-02-1999 10:53 AM       View Profile for Blackdrake   Email Blackdrake   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blackdrake

Excellent. The acrostic does not take anything away from the poem , but enhances the message.

------------------
Thy own Darkness shall conquer the Light
Tara Simms
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since 08-12-99
Posts 1285
Honea Path, SC USA


19 posted 11-02-1999 10:55 PM       View Profile for Tara Simms   Email Tara Simms   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tara Simms's Home Page   View IP for Tara Simms

Wow, Ruth. You outdid yourself with this. Very powerful message you delivered here, and an acrostic to boot! Amazing ability you have!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


20 posted 11-02-1999 10:57 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Jenny and Blackdrake, thank you both

Tara, you got me blushing here...thanks for the boost back up by the way
hoot_owl_rn will be notified of replies
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