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Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

0 posted 1999-10-31 04:24 PM


(I had a little fun with this one, hope this doesn't offend my friends of the masculine persuasion -- LOL)

Man Wanted

Wanted: Man with half a brain
(Can't have him being smarter),
A man who redefines the terms
"Go getter" and "self-starter":

A man who offers "ladies first!"
(And maybe opens doors)
Who doesn't think that "foreplay" is
A game that's played in fours!

A man who knows what hygiene is --
Has decent taste in raiment --
And doesn't think that flatulence
Is finest entertainment ...

A man who washes, cooks, and cleans,
In fair and equal measure;
Who holds my thoughts in high esteem --
More dear than any treasure.

And I, a woman slightly used
(But none the worse for wear),
Will vow to give the same in turn
(I like when things are fair!)

This is my dream of Mr. Right,
As fine as I can make him:
But those are dreams, and this is life:
"He has a job?? I'll take him!!"



------------------
You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.


© Copyright 1999 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 1999-10-31 04:34 PM


This is hillarious! Oh my goodness, I'm ROFL! I'm sure nobody will be offended!

------------------
Denise


Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
2 posted 1999-10-31 05:38 PM


Glad you liked it, Denise -- but it isn't the ladies I am worried about offending!

--Kess

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 1999-10-31 05:41 PM


I know that....you silly!

------------------
Denise


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
4 posted 1999-10-31 09:27 PM



ROFLMAO

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
5 posted 1999-10-31 10:03 PM


ROFLMAO !!!!...When you conduct the interviews can I be part of the selection board? Pretty please?...ROFL

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
6 posted 1999-10-31 10:03 PM


Here's another way I've seen to say basically the same thing:

THE PERFECT MAN

The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.

The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his
bride.

The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love
on you.

The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.

He never has made you cry
Or hurt you In any way
Oh, screw this stupid poem
The perfect man is gay.

I happen to disagree strongly but I love your poem!




RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
7 posted 1999-10-31 10:05 PM


Bal: True, the best men are gay....so long as you aren't married to them!

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.



[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 10-31-1999).]

Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
8 posted 1999-10-31 10:08 PM


I loved this, especially the last line!
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
9 posted 1999-10-31 10:10 PM


I loved this as well. Very entertaining. I disagree that the perfect men are gay. The problem with the women is this. When you meet a man that meets all of our dreams we think he isn't masculine enough...lol.
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
10 posted 1999-11-01 01:32 AM


Hmmm, methinks Kess needs to get out a bit more! And not true that the best men are gay! (Just ask any man, he'll tell you he's awesome!)


Cute girl, real cute...(pretending to huff and puff!)

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
11 posted 1999-11-01 10:19 AM


The perfect man is not gay -- LOL -- if he were, he wouldn't do me a bit of good, and thus would be disqualified from perfection!

Ruth, glad I could get a giggle out of you!

Rainbow, you may most certainly assist in the interviews -- but you have to bring at least 5 candidates with you! LOL

Balladeer, that was a cute poem, but I disagree too. If I wanted a man who thought he was a woman, I may as well just get myself a woman -- but I'm afraid this door doesn't swing in that direction!

Tara -- you said it! We all want a manly man -- without the manly habits! Go figure!

Christopher, you may huff and puff all you like, but you know its the truth! LOL -- and around my neighborhood, going out is more depressing than staying in!!

Thanks for the replies, ladies and gents

--Kess

LJA'sLorelei54
Junior Member
since 1999-09-24
Posts 18
Gaithersburg, MD
12 posted 1999-11-01 10:56 AM


I have a man who's pretty close to perfect,
He opens doors, appericates my cooking,
And doesn't take sex for granted.
I know his brain is more than half of mine,
but in fact, it works out just fine,
Because then I only have to think half the time.
He definately knows what foreplay is,
My problem is getting him to stop!
And clean, he redefines the word...
He knows how to cook and clean,
But since I too like to cook he deferrs that to me...but he can clean to his hearts content.
We do but heads at times about who is right,
But I love my man with all my might!!

Ok, only part of it rhymes, but so what..its just a comment that there are some decent men out there and to keep looking...and when you find one, you are so right, you have to treat him good and make him feel like a king, but the benifits just grow and grow...I certainly know...LJA and I have had a weekend that has taken our love to new heights and I know it is right!

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 1999-11-01 11:09 AM


ROFLMAO @ Skyfyre and Balladeer... and an envious sigh for Lor the Lucky. *G*
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
14 posted 1999-11-01 06:51 PM


SURE Lorelei -- just HAD to rub it in, didn't you? LOL -- don't worry, I haven't lost hope -- I know he's out there somewhere, just waiting for me to club him over the head and drag him home! Um -- I mean, um, catch his eye! (Well hey, if it works ...)

suthern, I join you in your envy of Lorelei and her perfect man -- and I'm glad you liked my silly little poem!

--Kess


Watcher666
Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606

15 posted 1999-11-02 03:50 AM


ROFLMAO....Half a brain though?? Isn't that aiming a little high?!? LOL

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

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