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Passions in Poetry

Torrential Tears (A Pantoum)

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Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


0 posted 10-31-1999 12:28 AM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Lucie

Desperation rings in my voice as I call out to you "Why?"
You seemed not to hear me pleading, seemed not to notice my pain.
Tears roll down my face tonight, like torrents that fall from the sky.
You never looked back at me, you just stepped out into the rain.

You seemed not to hear me pleading, seemed not to notice my pain.
I sit alone as the sun fades, watching the day turn to night.
You never looked back at me, you just stepped out into the rain.
I find myself still sitting here watching the dark turn to light.

I sit alone as the sun fades, watching the day turn to night.
The phone call that came after you left has me sitting in shock.
I find myself still sitting here watching the dark turn to light.
Im waiting, straining to hear the sound of your key in the lock.

The phone call that came after you left has me sitting in shock.
They said you didnt suffer, death came quickly to you it seems.
Im waiting, straining to hear the sound of your key in the lock.
But forever I will see you walking away in my dreams.

They said you didnt suffer, death came quickly to you it seems.
I have been left here on earth to face life without you my love .
But forever I will see you walking away in my dreams.
I am stuck here with this hell while you are in heaven above.

I have been left here on earth to face life without you my love.
Tears roll down my face tonight, like torrents that fall from the sky.
I am stuck here with this hell while you are in heaven above.
Desperation rings in my voice as I call out to you "Why?"


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Not all poems I write are about me personally, yet they do come from MY soul.


[This message has been edited by Lucie (edited 10-31-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Lucille Dobbins - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


1 posted 10-31-1999 12:42 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This is a wonderful piece, Lucie and I hope this is one of those that are not about your personal life.

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Denise

Julie
Senior Member
since 08-20-99
Posts 742
Houston, TX


2 posted 10-31-1999 12:46 AM       View Profile for Julie   Email Julie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Julie

Bravo Lucie...felt the sadness and the pain. Although very sad...very well done.

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Julie
-------------------------
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you will land among the stars.~Les Brown~
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


3 posted 10-31-1999 09:20 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Well written Lucie, applauds!!
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


4 posted 10-31-1999 09:56 AM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

Oh....this one is truly heartwrenching....I too hope it is not from personal experience.

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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-
Ohme
Senior Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 831
Texas


5 posted 10-31-1999 12:17 PM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ohme


Lucie, this is notjust a sad poem. It is a real heartbreaker. Hope it was born of your observation and not from your experience.
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


6 posted 11-01-1999 11:31 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Wow - the boards are moving fast, and I almost missed this one! This is really really good! I'm with everyone else dear, let us know that this is fiction, ok ? Haven't heard from you , but I see you're still ok - or at least you're still writing! Keep up the good work! You're always in my thought & prayers girl!! Miss you....

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~~ Lift your head high - spread your "words" and fly - - poetFemmeFatale

Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


7 posted 11-02-1999 05:21 AM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Could feel the pain and confusion in this one.Well done!

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Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
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