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Open Poetry #3
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Torrential Tears (A Pantoum)
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Torrential Tears (A Pantoum) |
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Lucie Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077Houston 
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Desperation rings in my voice as I call out to you… "Why?" You seemed not to hear me pleading, seemed not to notice my pain. Tears roll down my face tonight, like torrents that fall from the sky. You never looked back at me, you just stepped out into the rain. You seemed not to hear me pleading, seemed not to notice my pain. I sit alone as the sun fades, watching the day turn to night. You never looked back at me, you just stepped out into the rain. I find myself still sitting here watching the dark turn to light. I sit alone as the sun fades, watching the day turn to night. The phone call that came after you left has me sitting in shock. I find myself still sitting here watching the dark turn to light. I’m waiting, straining to hear the sound of your key in the lock. The phone call that came after you left has me sitting in shock. They said you didn’t suffer, death came quickly to you it seems. I’m waiting, straining to hear the sound of your key in the lock. But forever I will see you walking away in my dreams. They said you didn’t suffer, death came quickly to you it seems. I have been left here on earth to face life without you my love . But forever I will see you walking away in my dreams. I am stuck here with this hell while you are in heaven above. I have been left here on earth to face life without you my love. Tears roll down my face tonight, like torrents that fall from the sky. I am stuck here with this hell while you are in heaven above. Desperation rings in my voice as I call out to you… "Why?" ------------------ Not all poems I write are about me personally, yet they do come from MY soul. [This message has been edited by Lucie (edited 10-31-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Lucille Dobbins - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is a wonderful piece, Lucie and I hope this is one of those that are not about your personal life. ------------------ Denise |
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Julie Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739Houston, TX |
Bravo Lucie...felt the sadness and the pain. Although very sad...very well done. ------------------ Julie ------------------------- Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you will land among the stars.~Les Brown~ |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Well written Lucie, applauds!! |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Oh....this one is truly heartwrenching....I too hope it is not from personal experience. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
Lucie, this is notjust a sad poem. It is a real heartbreaker. Hope it was born of your observation and not from your experience. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Wow - the boards are moving fast, and I almost missed this one! This is really really good! I'm with everyone else dear, let us know that this is fiction, ok ? Haven't heard from you , but I see you're still ok - or at least you're still writing! Keep up the good work! You're always in my thought & prayers girl!! Miss you.... ------------------ ~~ Lift your head high - spread your "words" and fly - - poetFemmeFatale |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Could feel the pain and confusion in this one.Well done! ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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