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Passions in Poetry

Our Seasons

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Denise
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since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


0 posted 10-30-1999 10:59 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Denise

(I played around with the rhyme on this one a little...I felt 'playful!)

...I daydream in my mind sometimes...
I remember how life used to be
When we were young and so carefree
Oh, how we laughed in those bygone-times.

Oh, we'd sift for hours in the sand
Then we'd splash amidst the ocean spray
With our fast friend...Naivete'
Oh, weren't those days so very grand?

And when the autumn leaves would fall
Oh, we'd swoop 'em up 'n' swoosh 'em all
Or roll and wriggle through their piles
Ah, yes, those times, they bring such smiles.

And in that wintry time of year
When snowflakes fell - so minuscule
We'd breathe a prayer to God most dear
"Oh, please give us lots 'n' please close school!"

And when the springtime came at last
With blooming flowers and blue jays near
We'd run 'n' romp and then we asked
"Gee, Mom - won't summer ever get here?"

I remember how life used to be
When we were young and so carefree
And how we laughed in those bygone-times
...I daydream in my mind sometimes...

For my sisters, Sharon and Donna and for my brother, Frank

------------------
Denise

© Copyright 1999 Denise - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


1 posted 10-30-1999 11:06 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Very nicely done, Denise, and you certainly did move around with the rhyme schemes but in such a smooth way it took nothing away from the final product. I like it.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


2 posted 10-30-1999 11:11 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Denise what memories return. Thank you, such a warm smile you brought to my face. I agree with Bal buddy up there, it sure didn't take away from it!
RobertB
Senior Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 1121
Champaign, IL


3 posted 10-30-1999 11:32 PM       View Profile for RobertB   Email RobertB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RobertB

Neat one Denise...I will post one as an answer to this one OK??

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if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.
Denise
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since 08-22-99
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4 posted 10-30-1999 11:33 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thank you, Balladeer, WhtDove and Robert!
I'm glad you all liked it! I wasn't sure if it was poetically acceptable or not!

O.K. Robert, I'll look for it!
------------------
Denise



[This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 10-30-1999).]
Julie
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since 08-20-99
Posts 742
Houston, TX


5 posted 10-31-1999 01:05 AM       View Profile for Julie   Email Julie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Julie

This poem made me feel so good...what sweet dreams...and I agree...you're playfulness did no harm to the poem...it flowed perfectly.

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you will land among the stars.~Les Brown~
deleeme
Senior Member
since 10-09-1999
Posts 1771
NEW ENGLAND, USA


6 posted 10-31-1999 05:30 AM       View Profile for deleeme   Email deleeme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit deleeme's Home Page   View IP for deleeme

Denise,
I enjoyed this poem with is well captured sense of youthful innocence and impatient exhuberance. The unusual rhyme scheme changes somehow( nicely so) fit in with the theme of Seasonal changes--nothing stays the same for very long. Good work here!

------------------
"Our Creativity points to a Higher Creator--we couldn't have just happened, and for what ability we may possess--to God be the glory." -dlw-
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


7 posted 10-31-1999 09:29 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

What beautiful memories. I like the interesting scheme you used
Denise
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since 08-22-99
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8 posted 10-31-1999 01:29 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thanks you guys, I'm glad you liked it! It was one of the first poems I wrote and I know it's far from perfect, but I was trying to capture that feeling of changing times with the changing rhyme scheme. Thanks for reading and commenting everybody!

------------------
Denise

Verma
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since 10-25-1999
Posts 80
Midlands, England


9 posted 10-31-1999 01:38 PM       View Profile for Verma   Email Verma   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Verma

Well written poem 'D' - i liked it a lot.
Denise
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10 posted 10-31-1999 03:58 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thank you, Verma, I'm glad that you liked it!

------------------
Denise

Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


11 posted 10-31-1999 04:16 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Enjoyed this very much Denise. Playful is good, like the memories.
Skyfyre
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since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


13 posted 10-31-1999 05:02 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

How beautiful! I had almost forgotten how fascinating it was to be a child -- thank you for reminding me!

--Kess

------------------
You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


14 posted 10-31-1999 05:45 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Denise - did you grow up near the ocean?
I did and your poetry makes me nostalgic for those days of sand and sun, no worries...

Lovely poem.

Corinne
Isis
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since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


15 posted 10-31-1999 06:00 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Beauitful memories and tribute to days gone by Denise. I loved it

------------------
Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Every man goes down to his death bearing in his hands only that which he has given away...
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)


Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


16 posted 10-31-1999 06:04 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Youth is captured so well in this poem, Denise, and the rhyme seems to fit it too!

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

"Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near..."

Denise
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since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


17 posted 10-31-1999 06:45 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Martie, Marlene, Skyfyre, Corinne and Isis, thank you so much for your read and comments!
As always, it is appreciated!

Corinne-I live in Philadelphia which is about 90 miles or so from Cape May, NJ. Our summers were spent there as children. I don't get there as often as I would like now but when I can I do. It's about a 2 hour drive from here. It's well worth the trip.

------------------
Denise

Denise
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18 posted 10-31-1999 06:47 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thank you so much Elizabeth, I'm glad you liked it! I'm glad to see you posting again also. Missed ya!

------------------
Denise

Watcher666
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since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


19 posted 11-02-1999 04:29 PM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Got me remembering those days! Well done!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
Denise
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since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


20 posted 11-02-1999 07:41 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thanks, Watcher, I'm glad I helped to bring back memories!

------------------
Denise

Patrick B
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since 10-28-1999
Posts 58
uk


21 posted 11-02-1999 08:28 PM       View Profile for Patrick B   Email Patrick B   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Patrick B

you should play around with the rhyme more Denise,I loved it
vandana
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since 10-22-1999
Posts 10748
USA


22 posted 02-18-2000 12:00 PM       View Profile for vandana   Email vandana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for vandana

I like this a lot.
Denise
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since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


23 posted 02-27-2000 11:48 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thank you Patrick and Vandana! I'm glad you liked it! Sorry for the delay in thanking you...I just now saw this.  

Denise
 
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