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Passions in Poetry

The Path of Darkness (edited)

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Blackdrake
Member
since 07-23-99
Posts 85
Depends on the day :)


0 posted 10-29-1999 06:37 PM       View Profile for Blackdrake   Email Blackdrake   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blackdrake

Here upon the grass
In this medow that i stand
Agreat battle was fought by two kings
Whom thought to own the land

The kings and the officers
Were the only to excape
The thoughtless slaughter of thousands
Who shared this dis-honorable fate

The two kings lives were plauged
By the visions of that day
For the death they caused
With their souls they will pay

The firtile green grass was died red
By the bodies of the men who fell here
Grass grows red to mark the path of death
And is keept empty by the ominous fear

The red medow within the moutain pass
Has long since been named
It is the lightless vale, the place of death
And is a place of great fear and dread

Within the un-natural wind that plauges this place of death,
The lost souls of the tortured solgers reside
Replaying the epic battle
To which each owes their demise

Only thoes of pure soul
With no malace, greed, or hate
May pss through the lightless vale
or forever seal their fate

The kings whom fought this battle , the leaders in this tale
Have long since been put to rest
They jooined the eternal battle within the lightless vale
Both destened to fight forever , but neither will preveil

Important lessons have been learned
By the new kings upon the throne
Only love, and peace may reside
Greed, hate and chaos are condoned

And so here ends this tale
From which you must now learn
From greed, hate, and chaos
Your soal will forever burn

©BLACKDRAKE

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Thy own Darkness shall conquer the Light
© Copyright 1999 BlackDrake - All Rights Reserved
RobertB
Senior Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 1121
Champaign, IL


1 posted 10-29-1999 07:41 PM       View Profile for RobertB   Email RobertB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RobertB

That was a really neat story. You put a lot of thought into it I could feel it.

One small and well meaning suggestion...you need to check spelling. If you use MSWord it will do it for you. I love that. I was a good speller about 30 years ago.

Nice read though.



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if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.
Blackdrake
Member
since 07-23-99
Posts 85
Depends on the day :)


2 posted 10-30-1999 01:07 AM       View Profile for Blackdrake   Email Blackdrake   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blackdrake

Thank you for the advice. Ill try to get the spelling corrected asap.

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Thy own Darkness shall conquer the Light
Ominous
Member
since 07-04-99
Posts 68
Canada


3 posted 11-01-1999 11:37 PM       View Profile for Ominous   Email Ominous   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ominous

Well done brother. You truly are getting better with each new poem. Keep it up
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


4 posted 11-02-1999 12:01 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Indeed, still do I like this tale.

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Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©

Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


5 posted 11-02-1999 12:49 AM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Enjoyed the read.Well done!

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Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
 
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