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Open Poetry #3
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Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

0 posted 1999-10-27 10:39 PM


Deepening shadows chase the fleeing light,
Empowered by the promise of the night --
A willing lover offers dark embrace
To those who dare to look upon his face --
His visage cold, his eyes of onyx made;
Impartial, Death performs his solemn trade.

Silent, he waits: the hallmark of his trade
Never to rush; outwait the failing light.
Obsidian his gaze -- their blackness made
To hold the ebon void of endless night.
Abysmal depth in unrevealing face,
No soul escapes his perilous embrace.

Ensnared in this internecine embrace,
No sooner caught but any man would trade
Dearest of dreams to see his lover's face
But one last time -- to stand in dawn's first light
Unworried for the coming of the night --
Too late, these dreams; and thus are nightmares made.

The kings and slaves by him are equals made:
Herein, they all are one, and all embrace
Effusively the solace of the night.
Still, e'en adoring darkness, they will trade
This lasting peace for one caress of light --
And then, unrest in ceaseless midnight face.

Reward eternal, now, the slain must face --
Their pact with shadow, sealed in silence, made:
Outcast forever from the realm of light,
Forced exile seems a welcoming embrace.
A quest for peace, with souls bestowed in trade,
Now those who loved the sun revere the night.

Enduring and secure -- beloved night
Wild beauty in his all-concealing face;
Jeweled monarch, chthonian, and Death his trade --
Of souls and shadow are his vestments made.
Unchanging and relentless his embrace,
Reclaiming wearied souls from brutal light.

Nocturnal liege, no light shall mar your face --
Eternal night, your kingdom we have made;
Yon dark embrace the mercy of your trade.


------------------
You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.


© Copyright 1999 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 1999-10-27 10:47 PM


Yep, consider me impressed! This is wonderful! Another acrostic sestina that rhymes. Amazing!

------------------
Denise

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
2 posted 1999-10-27 11:41 PM


Thank you, Denise, for your words of praise. This piece was a welcome challenge, though I'll admit at points it is a bit tedious to read -- some of the meter had to be sacrificed to maintain form and rhyme (though I believe the pentameter is indeed intact, I was unable to make it iambic throughout).

Such is life. I enjoyed writing it, and that is reward in itself.

Again, thank you for the reply.

--Kesslynne

Sally S.
Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847
Ohio
3 posted 1999-10-27 11:47 PM


Woah....a dark piece for sure..perfect for this time of year I'd say. Great job. I know how much of a task this was.
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606

4 posted 1999-10-28 01:19 AM


Impressive! Well done!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

For_Never
Member
since 1999-10-27
Posts 125
Cincinnati, oh, United States of America
5 posted 1999-10-28 01:50 AM


Very well done, at once I feel as the Hunter, alive, encroached, passionate in my disires, and also the prey, mundane, vital, alive. But not only that, I can also so as a third party, enraptured by beauty and horror...most of all, envy..

Great...very good..

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
6 posted 1999-10-28 07:02 AM


Skyfire, this is truly a delight to read,
and a much appreciated point of view on Death. Thank you for the effort that went into this. A wonderful job.


------------------
Michael Anderson

Is all that we see or seem
but a dream within a dream?



Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
7 posted 1999-10-28 10:21 AM


Sally: I read and appreciated both your acrostic sestinas, and it was your impressive work that convinced me this could be done -- thank you for the inspiration and the comment.

Watcher: I seek only to entertain, not to impress -- but thank you for taking the time to reply!

For_Never: It is always wonderful to receive a reply that tells me what the reader's perception of my work was -- thank you for describing the journey that my writing took you on.

Michael: I bask in your praise, as it has been my pleasure to read many of your finely-crafted works -- both the more recent ones, which celebrate your love for poetFemmeFatale, and the ones in archive that reveal the dark side of your nature -- and I have yet to read one I did not enjoy immensely. Thank you again for taking the time to give me your thoughts.

--Kess

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
8 posted 1999-10-28 06:12 PM


It seems as though everyone is writing these things ... guess I'll have to jump on the old bandwagon myself here, or else be left behind ...

This was intense and captivating ... and the way you pulled off both the acrostic and the sestina is a testament to yor skill. BTW: I didn't think the changes in meter stumbled at all; they made the poem more interesting in my opinion. Well done!

Nocht

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")


Starith
Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 176
Leesburg, FL USA
9 posted 1999-10-28 08:11 PM


Interesting piece. I enjoyed the read. My hat is off to you, I don't think I could have done such a piece as this. Good job.



Star

------------------
We are only truly apperciated after we are no more!



hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
10 posted 1999-10-28 10:46 PM


Okay, I'm impressed and feeling a little out of my league on this one. Fine job
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