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Open Poetry #3
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Lady Elizabeth (Revised, revised, revised!)
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Lady Elizabeth (Revised, revised, revised!) |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648
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(with a note of thanks to Balladeer) Sweet little lass with silken hair Bright smiling eyes, a shade quite rare Was sure a joy to Mom and Dad The answer to the prayers they'd had. This tiny tot called 'Little Bette' Was pure delight to all she met; Elizabeth, her given name Was father's mother's, just the same. A regal one that she bore well Not one bad word could any tell; Most gracious lady, faithful wife She was a blessing to his life. But fate was cruel and spared him not Then came again to take her tot With both now gone, her heart alone She tried to live but turned to stone. Despair so deep from life unkind She'd lost it all then lost her mind; You might just see her roaming there Down lonely streets with vacant stare. Disheveled hair and tattered coat Her fairest days are far remote She spends her time perusing trash to find some cans to get some cash. So 'Tin-Can Lizzy's' now the name That townfolk use to sore defame This hapless soul with lonesome stare Who doesn't seem to hear nor care. But closely look you'll see a tear In child's eyes so full of fear And puzzlement for she can't get Why they're so mean to 'Little Bette'... ...the tiny tot with silken hair ...the answer to her parent's prayer. ------------------ Denise |
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| © Copyright 1999 Denise - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Denise....I am lost for words here ! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Denise...I've liked this from the first time I saw it posted. Now in it's revised state, it speaks even louder. Wonderfully done  |
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Verma Member
since 1999-10-25
Posts 80Midlands, England |
D......I wish i could explain things this way....Brill!!! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Munda, Hoot and Verma, thanks for reading and commenting! So glad you liked it! ------------------ Denise |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Denise this was Terrific! Balladeer has a way of really helping out don't he? Just wonderful! |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
What a sad and touching tale. Well written. --Kess ------------------ You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
This was wonderful, Denise. A touching tale... and you never miss a beat. Excellent work. (Then again, I don't think I've read a piece from you that I didn't like.) |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
We have a LOT in common, me and this Lady Elizabeth... I loved it, Denise. ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." "Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near..." |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Simply Beautiful! ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Well, Denise, I never caught the first one but this version is exquisite. Beautiful poem. ------------------ Michael Anderson Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream? |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Wow!!!! This is the first poem I've opened this morning... and I may just sit here reading and reading again!!! Wonderful work, Denise... a chorus of Bravo's!!! |
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RSEvans Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147Tulsa, OK, USA |
A beautiful poem...a sad story. What more can I say? I love it. ------------------ No matter where you go, somebody's probably already been there and gotten the parking space... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Yes! Yes! Yes! Wonderfully done, Denise. Beautiful, sad, and touching all rolled up into one. Another work of art. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Wow! Thanks you guys, what a surprise this was! WhtDove, Skyfyre, Sally, Elizabeth(you don't have too much in commom I hope!)Watcher, Michael, Suthern, RS and Balladeer, Thank you, thank you, thank you! And a special thank you for your help Balladeer! ------------------ Denise |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Just out of curiousity, Denise, how did you pick the name Elizabeth for her? ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." "Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near..." |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Hey, Elizabeth! Just now saw your question! When my youngest daughter was little she had drawn a little fictional character that she did a little series of drawings on (my daughter the artist at heart!) The little character's name was 'Little Bit'. I was thinking of that the other day and I got the idea to write something and I changed the name to 'Little Bette' and then of course Elizabeth came from that. It is such a lovely name. And not very common anymore! ------------------ Denise |
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Fred Hobbs Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329Tallahassee, Florida, US |
Denise, Outstanding work! Meter, rhyme and passion were all there (and more). Excellent! sandman |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Wow, thank you Fred. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Balladeer helped me with the flow! The original had too many 'breaks' in it! Thanks again for reading and commenting, Fred! ------------------ Denise [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 10-31-1999).] |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
And I thank YOU, Denise, for the explanation! ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." "Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near..." |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Time for this gem to be revisited. Wonderful. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You are quite welcome, Elizabeth! Thank you so much for your kind comment, Mike! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! ------------------ Denise |
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