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Passions in Poetry

Lady Elizabeth (Revised, revised, revised!)

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Denise
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0 posted 10-27-1999 06:32 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Denise

(with a note of thanks to Balladeer)

Sweet little lass with silken hair
Bright smiling eyes, a shade quite rare
Was sure a joy to Mom and Dad
The answer to the prayers they'd had.

This tiny tot called 'Little Bette'
Was pure delight to all she met;
Elizabeth, her given name
Was father's mother's, just the same.

A regal one that she bore well
Not one bad word could any tell;
Most gracious lady, faithful wife
She was a blessing to his life.

But fate was cruel and spared him not
Then came again to take her tot
With both now gone, her heart alone
She tried to live but turned to stone.

Despair so deep from life unkind
She'd lost it all then lost her mind;
You might just see her roaming there
Down lonely streets with vacant stare.

Disheveled hair and tattered coat
Her fairest days are far remote
She spends her time perusing trash
to find some cans to get some cash.

So 'Tin-Can Lizzy's' now the name
That townfolk use to sore defame
This hapless soul with lonesome stare
Who doesn't seem to hear nor care.

But closely look you'll see a tear
In child's eyes so full of fear
And puzzlement for she can't get
Why they're so mean to 'Little Bette'...

...the tiny tot with silken hair
...the answer to her parent's prayer.


------------------
Denise
© Copyright 1999 Denise - All Rights Reserved
Munda
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since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


1 posted 10-27-1999 06:49 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

Denise....I am lost for words here !
hoot_owl_rn
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since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 10-27-1999 06:56 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Denise...I've liked this from the first time I saw it posted. Now in it's revised state, it speaks even louder. Wonderfully done
Verma
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since 10-25-1999
Posts 80
Midlands, England


3 posted 10-27-1999 06:56 PM       View Profile for Verma   Email Verma   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Verma

D......I wish i could explain things this way....Brill!!!
Denise
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4 posted 10-27-1999 08:51 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Munda, Hoot and Verma, thanks for reading and commenting! So glad you liked it!

------------------
Denise
WhtDove
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since 07-22-99
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Illinois


5 posted 10-27-1999 10:24 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Denise this was Terrific! Balladeer has a way of really helping out don't he? Just wonderful!
Skyfyre
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since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


6 posted 10-27-1999 11:07 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

What a sad and touching tale. Well written.

--Kess

------------------
You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.

Sally S.
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since 06-07-99
Posts 887
Ohio


7 posted 10-27-1999 11:24 PM       View Profile for Sally S.   Email Sally S.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sally S.

This was wonderful, Denise. A touching tale... and you never miss a beat. Excellent work. (Then again, I don't think I've read a piece from you that I didn't like.)
Elizabeth
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8 posted 10-27-1999 11:30 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

We have a LOT in common, me and this Lady Elizabeth...

I loved it, Denise.

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

"Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near..."

Watcher666
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since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


9 posted 10-28-1999 01:16 AM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Simply Beautiful!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
Michael
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since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


10 posted 10-28-1999 08:50 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Well, Denise,
I never caught the first one but this version is exquisite. Beautiful poem.

------------------
Michael Anderson

Is all that we see or seem
but a dream within a dream?


suthern
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on the threshold of a dream


11 posted 10-28-1999 08:56 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Wow!!!! This is the first poem I've opened this morning... and I may just sit here reading and reading again!!! Wonderful work, Denise... a chorus of Bravo's!!!
RSEvans
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since 10-23-1999
Posts 1187
Tulsa, OK, USA


12 posted 10-28-1999 12:55 PM       View Profile for RSEvans   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSEvans

A beautiful poem...a sad story. What more can I say? I love it.

------------------
No matter where you go, somebody's probably already been there and gotten the parking space...
Balladeer
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13 posted 10-28-1999 05:09 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Yes! Yes! Yes! Wonderfully done, Denise. Beautiful, sad, and touching all rolled up into one. Another work of art.
Denise
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14 posted 10-28-1999 07:48 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Wow! Thanks you guys, what a surprise this was! WhtDove, Skyfyre, Sally, Elizabeth(you don't have too much in commom I hope!)Watcher, Michael, Suthern, RS and Balladeer,
Thank you, thank you, thank you! And a special thank you for your help Balladeer!


------------------
Denise

Elizabeth
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15 posted 10-30-1999 12:22 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Just out of curiousity, Denise, how did you pick the name Elizabeth for her?

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

"Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near..."

Denise
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since 08-22-99
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16 posted 10-30-1999 07:38 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Hey, Elizabeth! Just now saw your question!
When my youngest daughter was little she had drawn a little fictional character that she did a little series of drawings on (my daughter the artist at heart!) The little character's name was 'Little Bit'. I was thinking of that the other day and I got the idea to write something and I changed the name to 'Little Bette' and then of course Elizabeth came from that. It is such a lovely name. And not very common anymore!


------------------
Denise

Fred Hobbs
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since 06-08-99
Posts 353
Tallahassee, Florida, US


17 posted 10-30-1999 11:01 PM       View Profile for Fred Hobbs   Email Fred Hobbs   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Fred Hobbs's Home Page   View IP for Fred Hobbs

Denise,
Outstanding work! Meter, rhyme and passion were all there (and more). Excellent!

sandman
Denise
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18 posted 10-30-1999 11:50 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Wow, thank you Fred. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Balladeer helped me with the flow! The original had too many 'breaks' in it! Thanks again for reading and commenting, Fred!

------------------
Denise



[This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 10-31-1999).]
Elizabeth
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19 posted 10-31-1999 04:45 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

And I thank YOU, Denise, for the explanation!

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

"Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near..."

Mike
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since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


20 posted 11-03-1999 08:30 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Time for this gem to be revisited.
Wonderful.
Denise
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since 08-22-99
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21 posted 11-03-1999 08:39 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

You are quite welcome, Elizabeth!
Thank you so much for your kind comment, Mike! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

------------------
Denise

 
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