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Passions in Poetry

The Path of Death

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Blackdrake
Member
since 07-23-99
Posts 85
Depends on the day :)


0 posted 10-27-1999 10:32 AM       View Profile for Blackdrake   Email Blackdrake   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blackdrake

This poem has been redone and is now named
The Path of Darkness (edited)

[This message has been edited by Blackdrake (edited 10-29-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 BlackDrake - All Rights Reserved
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


1 posted 10-27-1999 01:46 PM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

A bit choppy to read,but I enjoyed this.Nicely done.

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 10-27-1999 06:48 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I have to start by saying, when I come across a poem done in caps...I usually can't even bare to read it. On the net, caps stand for shouting. Let your words shout for themselves in the future. This poem has a lot to say, but the caps are a definate destraction from it. I can see a few areas that the flow could be smoothed up a bit and there are a few typos or misspellings, but other than that, it's got a good message and with a bit of work could be an excellent poem.
Verma
Member
since 10-25-1999
Posts 80
Midlands, England


3 posted 10-27-1999 07:05 PM       View Profile for Verma   Email Verma   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Verma

Blackdrake - i struggled to find the rythym, but i enjoyed it anyway. :-)
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


4 posted 10-27-1999 09:12 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Echoes of Hoot my friend. The story is well told, but caps should be avoided and their are some spelling errors. Both myself and Christopher are willing to spellcheck the work of anyone who has no spellcheck, prior to posting.

That said, your storyline rocks well.

------------------
Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvilŠ

Blackdrake
Member
since 07-23-99
Posts 85
Depends on the day :)


5 posted 10-27-1999 10:48 PM       View Profile for Blackdrake   Email Blackdrake   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blackdrake

Thanx for the advice. I would apreciate any help you can offer on smoothing out the rhythm or spelling errors.

(ill change the caps)

thanx

------------------
Thy own Darkness shall conquer the Light

[This message has been edited by Blackdrake (edited 10-27-1999).]
 
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