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Open Poetry #3

The Path of Death

Blackdrake
Member

since 1999-07-23

Posts 83
Depends on the day :)

0 posted 1999-10-27 10:32 AM

This poem has been redone and is now named
The Path of Darkness (edited)

[This message has been edited by Blackdrake (edited 10-29-1999).]

Watcher666
Senior Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 1606

1 posted 1999-10-27 01:46 PM

A bit choppy to read,but I enjoyed this.Nicely done.

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

2 posted 1999-10-27 06:48 PM

I have to start by saying, when I come across a poem done in caps...I usually can't even bare to read it. On the net, caps stand for shouting. Let your words shout for themselves in the future. This poem has a lot to say, but the caps are a definate destraction from it. I can see a few areas that the flow could be smoothed up a bit and there are a few typos or misspellings, but other than that, it's got a good message and with a bit of work could be an excellent poem.

Verma
Member

since 1999-10-25

Posts 80
Midlands, England

3 posted 1999-10-27 07:05 PM

Blackdrake - i struggled to find the rythym, but i enjoyed it anyway. :-)

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

4 posted 1999-10-27 09:12 PM

Echoes of Hoot my friend. The story is well told, but caps should be avoided and their are some spelling errors. Both myself and Christopher are willing to spellcheck the work of anyone who has no spellcheck, prior to posting.

That said, your storyline rocks well.

Blackdrake
Member

since 1999-07-23

Posts 83
Depends on the day :)

5 posted 1999-10-27 10:48 PM

Thanx for the advice. I would apreciate any help you can offer on smoothing out the rhythm or spelling errors.

(ill change the caps)

thanx

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Thy own Darkness shall conquer the Light

[This message has been edited by Blackdrake (edited 10-27-1999).]

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