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Open Poetry #3
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DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396


0 posted 1999-10-27 05:39 AM


In my heart I felt the last of love die.
My own pain has dwelt too long in the dark.
Stark raving madness made my life a lie.
My own sadness has doused passion's spark.

Pray for dying love as pain serves you well.
Tell to God above your venomous hate.
State that love's deceit paves the road to hell.
Sell your soul for sin not holy dictate.

Truth always condemns what lies will redeem.
Scream putrid love stems from cancerous souls.
Goals die without form though we always dream.
Scheme not to conform but to breakdown roles.

Evil does contrast the souls who do good.
Understood at last evil will remain.
Slain by holy deeds your fame is obscure.
Endure loving deeds to take on more pain.


©1999 DreamEvil


------------------
Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©


© Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
1 posted 1999-10-27 05:43 AM


This is an AWESOME poem...structure, style, message...perfect in every part...
One of the best ones yet brother!

Watcher666
Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606

2 posted 1999-10-27 06:04 AM


Excellent! In awe of your ability to produce such wonders brother of my heart.

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

RSEvans
Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147
Tulsa, OK, USA
3 posted 1999-10-27 06:20 AM


and yet within the good lies the evil and within the evil, good...an excellent piece.

------------------
No matter where you go, somebody's probably already been there and gotten the parking space...

JennyLee
Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.
4 posted 1999-10-27 06:23 AM


Truth always condemns what lies will redeem.
Exquiste!!

Jenny

Ohme
Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816
Texas
5 posted 1999-10-27 07:00 AM


Very nice!
I like the phrase

Truth always condemns what lies will redeem

DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

6 posted 1999-10-27 09:14 PM


Thank you much as I put a bit of effort into the internal and end rhyme scheme. Turned out well I thought.

------------------
Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©


Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
7 posted 1999-10-27 09:20 PM


'Twas a difficult task you took on here -- and made it look effortless. Very well done.

--Kess

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You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 1999-10-27 09:31 PM


DreamEvil,
This is a keeper, well done.

Serain
Junior Member
since 1999-10-16
Posts 17
Gresham, OR
9 posted 1999-10-27 09:35 PM


very good
very dark
hence dark passions

DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

10 posted 1999-10-27 09:43 PM


Much thanks for the response to this piece, though 'tis not truly of the Light, still do I find it uplifting.

------------------
Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©


Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
11 posted 1999-10-30 02:50 AM


Wow, Dream,
I must apologize for missing this the first time through. Ditto Chris, and I can see the effort that went into this one...I love the use of internal rhyme you know. Awesome, indeed.

------------------
Michael Anderson

And after-drunkeness of soul
Succeeds the glory of the bowl -
An idle longing night and day
To dream my very life away


EAP


wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
12 posted 1999-10-30 02:54 AM


thankyou dream for the thought provoking verse well done
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........
13 posted 1999-10-30 03:54 PM


Very good piece my frined- I too loved the line:

Truth always condemns what lies will redeem

Great job

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

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