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Open Poetry #3
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The Love Hypocrites
| Open Poetry #3 |
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The Love Hypocrites |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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(Run to the water…and find me there burnt to the core, but not broken...Live) He said:'I dare not call it love... I would be fey should I tell you I loved you' She said: '...that big, scary word... I've learned about love the hard way' Through measured certainty, and weary-wisdomed craft, emerged the searchings of these two: he with questions to confound and she with doubt affirmed (...you are my mirror...) Versing opinions passioned through raging disputations, flaunting rich sagacity of fates and demons bold... but slow inside there flickered quiet thoughts of minds that did inspire (...I am your echo...) then, fluttered a candle-fire now, burns the forest-flame then, splashed a water-drop now, falls the driving rain And so soon the word it came! And how soul-felt... 'you broke through, yet left no scar... among the stars you are... Love beckoned, irresistibly... enduring past eternity...' And now these two surrendered souls long days live breathing for the other, they send true love down cold phone lines crafting words born from the other and though a cruel divide of time mocks yet the two Love Hypocrites their bond of minds and hearts alike is safe and never questioned He said: 'Blue, my love for you, endless like the sky' She said: 'you reside in me, Dove of my life, flight free' Now they are just dreaming but soon will they awaken: these soulmates born and soulmates found the dove, and the star forever bound... 25.10.99 [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 10-25-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
Ohhhh Severn...what a great piece this is! You've captured feelings and set them free all at once  Stunning!------------------ "Tread softly, for I have spread my dreams under your feet"~~William Butler Yeats |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Ok, I have to say that every single part of this is based on reality...and I am torn between groaning at having to eat my words, and bursting with pleasure and pride at this poem. Of itself, it is magnificent, with all the right stops and punctuation to flow freely and easily. The word usage is quite powerful and hits home with every line. But when added with the memories of personal experiences, (the italicised words are all quotes either from us, our poetry, or a shared song,) this becomes one of those peices that knocks one off their feet.... Amazed I am love, and you are truly, a shining star! |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Christopher, you were right as this is an awesome piece. ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
Beautifuly done. Yep, Awesome, |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
wow! Can I um, yanno, keep this one? ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Thank you for sharing a glimpse of your love for each other. Very heartwarming indeed. The poem is quite beautiful Severn..... ------------------ A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extrordinaire! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Christopher, you don't treat this girl right and we're gonna kick yore butt!!! Beautiful work, Severn. |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
This is absoulutely fabulous! So beautiful!! ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
WOW Severn, this is fantastic! ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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RSEvans Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147Tulsa, OK, USA |
Have a tear...hell have two...Wonderful piece. ------------------ No matter where you go, somebody's probably already been there and gotten the parking space... |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Very well done, Severn. I can see how much work went into this piece. ------------------ Michael Anderson Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream? |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Love does great things to an already good poet!! This is truly wonderful. You are both very lucky to have found each other....  |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Severn, this is fantastic....I can't wait till you two meet |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Severn, Since all the superlatives were used up I can only add I liked it much. *L* |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Wow - I just have to say thanks to all you guys! I'm feeling very humbled right now (hard thing to achieve in me sometimes) Chris - only you can truly know the significance of this and I'm so glad it touched your heart and you are ever my dove - my bringer of peace and hope. angel - by all means! I'm just thrilled you would want to keep it! Hoot - I can't wait till we meet! |
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