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Passions in Poetry

Why do I Take The Time to Write Such Crap

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starchild
Member
since 10-22-1999
Posts 60
manchester, england


0 posted 10-25-1999 10:36 AM       View Profile for starchild   Email starchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for starchild

deep in the stillness of the night
i once lent my soul to flight
and floating far above myself
escaped restrictions of the head
consumed was i by such a wealth
forgot the comfort of my bed

before me danced a timeless fleet
such beauty as the eye could greet
and wonder struck my humble gaze
but still the stars kept prancing there
and never ceased but to amaze
and left me high without a care
© Copyright 1999 starchild - All Rights Reserved
Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


1 posted 10-25-1999 10:41 AM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Enjoyed the poem... might have picked a different title.
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


2 posted 10-25-1999 11:25 AM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Nicely done.

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Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


3 posted 10-25-1999 12:38 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Star,
You write well I enjoyed the read.
Star Fairy 2
Member
since 09-06-99
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa


4 posted 10-25-1999 06:49 PM       View Profile for Star Fairy 2   Email Star Fairy 2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Star Fairy 2

what does the title mean?

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Don't Fall.. Rise in Love
-------823-------
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


5 posted 10-25-1999 07:42 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

Yes, you definitely write well.

May I suggest that you have no need to continue posting inane, capitalized titles....? Your poetry will stand on its own. Just keep posting. People will read.

Frankly, I usually don't read poems where the author is yelling in capital letters as if to say, "read me". But, a little while ago, I read another poem you wrote which I liked very much and so I decided to read this one, too..... despite the title.

I'm glad I did read it. It is really very wonderful. Trust me. Your poetry is well written and you have a definitive style... unlike some.... and you have no need to name your poems like you've been doing.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


6 posted 10-25-1999 07:49 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

I ditto Lady Peri... I've passed this by several times only now to take gander because I wanted to see how others had responded. I enjoyed your work and think you should be more generous to yourself. Just my two cents...
Ohme
Senior Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 831
Texas


7 posted 10-25-1999 08:01 PM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ohme

Don't see any connection between title and body of poem. But very nice poem!
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
8 posted 10-25-1999 08:19 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

A very good poem starchild.I, like the others,do not understand the title though.

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A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extrordinaire!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


9 posted 10-25-1999 08:22 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I agree with Doreen...by the way, interesting rhyme scheme you used on this one, it worked well
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


10 posted 10-25-1999 10:56 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This is lovely starchild! I enjoyed this very much!

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Denise
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


11 posted 10-25-1999 11:12 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

A difficult rhyme scheme to carry off and you did it with ease. Very nice.
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


12 posted 10-26-1999 01:20 AM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

I too like the rhyme scheme....never seen this one before. But I agree, the title is inappropritate to the poem......and does sort of scream "Read Me" I would suggest a more fitting title next time, as sometimes the title really makes the poem.

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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-
starchild
Member
since 10-22-1999
Posts 60
manchester, england


13 posted 10-26-1999 07:20 AM       View Profile for starchild   Email starchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for starchild

the reason i named my title so was because i get really fustrated that this poem which i am not at all proud of, as i have seen the like written a million times, gets so many responses while the poems that mean a lot to me like 'the day slowly drips through my fingers like blood from the petals of a rose'
is responded to by relatively few people. that is why i wrote that title, otherwise i would have made somathing up on the spot, as i don't normaly title my poems
 
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