hmmm this one was a little rough. punctuation is rampantly over done. the words, though nice, are bland and flavorless. the subject of the poem is one already overdone and with the blandness of the words, just makes it worse. I'm not being hard, I'm being real. if you want to post here, then you want to learn something. you want to be accepted. and in order to be accepted, you have to write things that are unique, different, and eye catching. either that or you just have to be you. be the one that's easiest, it always works.