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Open Poetry #3
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Where are you?
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Where are you? |
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DanMc Junior Member
since 1999-10-24
Posts 10Canada |
Where Are You? How long must I search? Oh, lonely heart of mine? Or am I doomed to write sad poems that rhyme? What else can I do, when you Start pounding? If I do nothing, then I'm left waiting. So many times I've followed you, In search of my fait. Where could you be, my friend, my lover, And soulmate. ------------------ Daniel McIntosh |
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| © Copyright 1999 DanMc - All Rights Reserved | |||
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desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx |
hmmm this one was a little rough. punctuation is rampantly over done. the words, though nice, are bland and flavorless. the subject of the poem is one already overdone and with the blandness of the words, just makes it worse. I'm not being hard, I'm being real. if you want to post here, then you want to learn something. you want to be accepted. and in order to be accepted, you have to write things that are unique, different, and eye catching. either that or you just have to be you. be the one that's easiest, it always works. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
The feeling in this is well expressed. I'm not an expert on writing but I think this speaks much with few words! ------------------ Denise [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 10-28-1999).] |
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