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Passions in Poetry

The New Rose

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RSEvans
Senior Member
since 10-23-1999
Posts 1187
Tulsa, OK, USA


0 posted 10-23-1999 07:39 PM       View Profile for RSEvans   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for RSEvans

While sifting through the pages
Of an old forgotten book
And remeniscing ages
Of the journey we both took,
I came across the petals
Of a silky worn-out rose
Whose color had faded
And whose skin was full of holes.
I sat and stared in silence,
My smile the only sound,
And remembered with all fondness
When we plucked it from the ground.
And even though your gone now
Like the scent that left this bud
and your memory somehow fainter
Like this small flowers' blood.
Both of you are special.
To me there is no shame
In the flower that we plucked that day
The day you took from me my name.
I'll remember you with fondness.
I'll walk my final days,
'Til once again I caress
Your soft and silky face.
And when we meet I'll think of this
And tell you of my prose
And give to you a living loving
Shiny brand new rose.


------------------
On the wings of day-bright dreams...

© Copyright 1999 Rob Evans - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


1 posted 10-23-1999 08:17 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

I am honored to be the first to reply to a piece as beautiful as this. It's one of the loveliest and most touching...thanks for sharing, RSE.

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

"Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near..."

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


2 posted 10-23-1999 08:22 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very touching. Thanks for sharing this.

------------------
Denise
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


3 posted 10-23-1999 08:29 PM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

This is beautiful!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 10-23-1999 08:29 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I truly love this one. You've done a wonderful job with it. Might I make one small suggestion to improve the flow in one spot?

The lines :
"In the flower that we plucked that day
The day you took from me my name."
....possibly change to
In the flower that we plucked
The day you took my name.

As you can see, I've changed none of the meaning, but the flow is much smoother in that part now

wonderful poem, well done!

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


5 posted 10-24-1999 09:57 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

This was beautiful, a wonderful story! And yes, I agree with HootOwl....that does make it flow a bit better....but still keeps all the meaning. Nice job!

------------------
I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale

Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
6 posted 10-24-1999 02:45 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Very beautiful indeed!

------------------
A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
DanMc
Junior Member
since 10-24-1999
Posts 10
Canada


7 posted 10-24-1999 02:57 PM       View Profile for DanMc   Email DanMc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DanMc's Home Page   View IP for DanMc

I,m very picky at picking nice poems to send to the one i love.
I only wish I had a love like which you speak of so I could use your poem.

Daniel
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