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Passions in Poetry

The Dirty Dozens

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PoeticPreacher
Junior Member
since 10-20-1999
Posts 28
jkljkj


0 posted 10-23-1999 01:30 PM       View Profile for PoeticPreacher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit PoeticPreacher's Home Page   View IP for PoeticPreacher

This is one of the poems I managed to write without rhyming.


The Dirty Dozens

A dozen roses.
A thousand thorns.

A dozen apologies.
A thousand insincere.

A dozen blessings.
A thousand curses.

A dozen gifts.
A thousand traps.

A dozen kisses.
A thousand bruises.

A dozen caresses.
A thousand aches.

A dozen praises.
A thousand insults.

A dozen truths???
A thousand lies.

A dozen arrests.
A thousand “getaways”.

A dozen heavens.
A thousand hells.

A dozen excuses.
A thousand abuses.

Such is the love he shows her in
Dirty dozens.
© Copyright 1999 PoeticPreacher - All Rights Reserved
darksideofthesun
Junior Member
since 10-21-1999
Posts 12


1 posted 10-23-1999 01:35 PM       View Profile for darksideofthesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for darksideofthesun

wow- is this really a first attempt??? very well done- id like to read more in this style so keep up the good work!!!
Ohme
Senior Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 831
Texas


2 posted 10-23-1999 01:50 PM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ohme

I like the style as well. It sings to me even without the rhyme.
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


3 posted 10-23-1999 02:55 PM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Well done....flows easily!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
PoeticPreacher
Junior Member
since 10-20-1999
Posts 28
jkljkj


4 posted 10-24-1999 01:43 AM       View Profile for PoeticPreacher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit PoeticPreacher's Home Page   View IP for PoeticPreacher

Thanks for the critique. I appreciate yall!!!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


5 posted 10-24-1999 11:52 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Wonderfully written!!
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
6 posted 10-24-1999 12:43 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Very Well Done!!
Enjoyed this much.....

------------------
A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


7 posted 10-24-1999 01:11 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very well done, Poetic Preacher. This does have a flow to it. I know what you mean about not being able to write very easily without rhyme. I've tried and tried and tried but it just doesn't work! I always end up with rhyming words! And when I change the rhyming words to something else the flow is gone! Again, well done!

------------------
Denise
PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


8 posted 10-24-1999 06:02 PM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

Preacher,
Even without the rhyme, it still sings!! It's very well written!

------------------
If you love me like music, I'll be your song.
~Heart~ Dreamboat Annie

 
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