All my life, I've eluded
Certain deadly perils. I'm proud
That I'm still in one piece. But
Rather than boast out loud
Of how I managed to dodge
Pigeon waste aimed at my head,
Or of breaking only one tooth
On a prune pit baked into bread,
Or of leaping swiftly aside
And mucking up only one shoe
When a bicycle messenger thought
That a red light meant "Barrel on
I'll cite my piece de resistance,
The maneuver I execute best,
The challenge that strains my will
And puts my nerves to the test.
You see, I commute by auto
From city to suburb each day.
(To get some idea of the risk
Check the car insurance premium I
The only point I'm making is
I've survived in spite of the
From drivers uncouth and barbaric,
Not to mention those stupid and
But one driver may end all that.
One driver may put me under.
It's the driver who speeds along
With attention torn asunder.
Right brain is tooling through
Right hand is gripping the wheel,
While left hand supports a cell
And left brain works on a deal!