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Passions in Poetry

Come To Me

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Ohme
Senior Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 831
Texas


0 posted 10-22-1999 09:50 PM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Ohme

Come To Me

Come to me my dearest one and sit here by my side.
Let the strains of music be from words I want to hear.
Let the sounds of laughter fill the air and in my mind
leave the words that linger there to wipe away a tear.

Lie with me, my only love and hold me close to you
allowing all my thoughts to be surrounded by your care.
In the comfort of your love life's burdens are diminished.
Hold me now until I find these burdens are not there.

Love with me my only one throughout eternity.
Let the number of the stars count days of loving you.
May I hold you close and ever keep you in my heart
knowing that my love, my love, is cherished by you too.

[This message has been edited by Ohme (edited 10-23-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Lorene Meadows - All Rights Reserved
Alwye
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Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


1 posted 10-22-1999 09:53 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Truly beautiful work!

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

I walk with the multitude, yet alone am I in their midst. -- Daniel L. Miller

Michael
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Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


2 posted 10-22-1999 09:57 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Beautifully done. the last line says SO much...just knowing your love means something to the one you love makes all the difference in the world to any relationship.

------------------
Michael Anderson

Is all that we see or seem
but a dream within a dream?



Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 10-22-1999 10:21 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Beautiful, loving sentiments!

------------------
Denise
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


4 posted 10-22-1999 10:41 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Words of love so lovely.
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 09-03-99
Posts 5497
Forever In Your Heart


5 posted 10-23-1999 02:01 AM       View Profile for A Romantic Heart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Romantic Heart

I like the line....And let the number of stars count the days of our love! Beautiful!
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


6 posted 10-23-1999 04:58 AM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

WOW! Excellent....loved this!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


7 posted 10-23-1999 11:21 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Ohme..I really enjoyed this one, but your rhyme scheme doesn't work in the second stanza
Lie with me, my only love and hold me close to you
allowing all my thoughts to be surrounded by your care.
In the comfort of your love life's burdens are diminished.
Hold me now until I find these burdens are all gone.

have you thought about trying something like
Lie with me, my only love and hold me close to you
allowing all my thoughts to be surrounded by your care.
In the comfort of your love life's burdens are diminished.
Hold me now until I find my burdens no longer there.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


8 posted 10-23-1999 11:33 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Ohme,
Agree with Hoot, worth a rewrite.
Ohme
Senior Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 831
Texas


9 posted 10-23-1999 01:16 PM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ohme

Thanks Hoot and Seymour. I always like a pat on the back but I also welcome suggestions for improvement. I like it better now myself.
Thanks for your comments. Hope you like the edited version.
Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


10 posted 10-23-1999 01:38 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

Sounds like a love for eternity and a day to me, Ohme. I loved it. : ) Thanks.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


11 posted 10-23-1999 03:15 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Very nice
 
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