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Passions in Poetry

Tell me what you guys think of this please

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Ton
New Member
since 10-22-1999
Posts 1


0 posted 10-22-1999 03:04 AM       View Profile for Ton   Email Ton   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ton

My Sky

Sometimes I think you are an agel from the sky
I wonder fi you've come from way up high
I wish you were mine i would be the luckiest guy
You make me feel like I can fly
i wish you were with me in my sky
but for now you'r with some other guy
wy up high in his sky
when you're with me i see a fire in your eye
i wish you were with me in my sky
your so beautiful i could cry
you are the only girl i want in my sky
it almosy makes me cry
when i thik of you with some other guy
i wish you were with me in my sky
when i am around you i feel like no ordinary guy
i would be the best to you that is no lie
i wish you were with me in my sky
© Copyright 1999 Ton - All Rights Reserved
starboards
Member
since 10-14-1999
Posts 469
longwood, florida


1 posted 10-22-1999 09:55 AM       View Profile for starboards   Email starboards   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for starboards

In my opinion...i liked the message in this but the rhyming could use a little work or maybe it rhymed too much...all in all...i liked it...i hope to be reading more from you in the future

************************
starboards

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"If you love something let it go...if it comes back to you it is yours...if it doesnt then it never was"
 
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