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Passions in Poetry

Crush

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Rhiannon
Member
since 07-28-99
Posts 95
Fayetteville, TN USA


0 posted 10-20-1999 05:30 PM       View Profile for Rhiannon   Email Rhiannon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rhiannon's Home Page   View IP for Rhiannon

Crush crush crush me
I shouldn't be standing beside you
They say
Hush hush hush me
I shouldn't be saying this to you
They say
Does it last forever?
My teeth scrape your skin
I run from the pain within
But the shadows follow
The walls are hollow
And I hear your voice
Hear you say
I love you till I die
Does it last forever?
Hackneyed notions
Of living perfectly
Intense emotions
When you get to the heart of me
I'm living despite
This respite
I long to feel your eyes
Your hands on me, responsive but
They say we are too young
To know what is good for us
They say we shouldn't be
But for my sanity
I need you here with me
I would
But it's too hard to think
Crush me
I'm crushing
The feelings I feel
So I can live without you here
I tempted to fall
But I grin and bear the pain
If this isn't love
I'm blind
To the image of you standing
In front of me wishing
We were alone
If this isn't love
I'm deaf
To the sound
Of your voice and the pound
Of your heart and mine
Singing despite
This respite
I long to feel your touch
Not alone, not much
But what does it matter?
If this isn't love,
I'm incapable
And forever, if it's true,
I'm in debt to you
For giving me love
When I needed you to.

------------------
The night is my companion
The solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here
And not be satisfied?
Sarah MacLachlan, "Possession"
© Copyright 1999 Rhiannon - All Rights Reserved
desperado
Member
since 05-24-99
Posts 361
FT Hood,Tx


1 posted 10-22-1999 02:44 PM       View Profile for desperado   Email desperado   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for desperado

though I may not be much older than you, this has plastered all over it "Teen Angst". though it is a nice piece and all your teen friends will say it's good and they like it, few other than them will see it. though they can relate to it, they can't get inside of it, which are two different things. yes, I can relate to it and I can understand what you mean, yet it is so foriegn as to mean nothing. a writer writes to his/her audience, as much as to themselves. yet if a writer tries to hold just one age group, you will find that what may be good one year is not the next. what may be easy to write one day, is impossible the next. I'm not saying it's not a good piece, what I am saying is that it is a selfabsorbed piece. you are showing everyone that you have this jewel, yet when they ask to touch it, you keep them at arms length. you have to describe the sensation of what it feels like to them. how does this love feel? does it make you dance as if the wind were your partner? expound and share. and thank you for posting this. one of my friends told me that along time ago and it just now made sense.
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